So you’ve scheduled a professional dating photography session – rad! As you’re figuring out what to wear in your online dating photos, you’re probably also thinking about hair and makeup.
How to do your hair and makeup for your dating photoshoot can be unexpectedly stressful, especially if you don’t regularly get professional portraits taken, and especially if you’re like me and your typical hair and makeup look skews more minimalist.
Whether you typically wear a full face of makeup, or not a stitch of makeup at all; whether you love a good blowout or usually wear your hair in a messy bun, this post is meant to set you up to be confident in your decisions about how you’d like to look in your new online dating photos.
A lot of professional photographers will suggest that you “need” to have your hair and makeup done by a professional in order to be “camera ready”. After more than a decade as a portrait photographer, and with all due respect, I call bullshit.
I have photographed thousands of women as a dating photographer, headshot photographer, and boudoir photographer, and this I know is true:
No woman “needs” to wear makeup to be beautiful (in general, or in photos).
And nobody “needs” professional hair and makeup for a photoshoot.
Let’s start with makeup for a photoshoot in general. If your day-to-day make-up look consists of chapstick and sunscreen, it would be 100% ok to rock that for your photoshoot. I have photographed many women with bare faces and guess what: they look gorgeous.
If you usually wear some makeup, but not much, that would also be fine for your photoshoot! You get the idea.
In my case, that means a little pressed powder, a touch of blush, some soft eye-shadow, a bit of brow pencil, and mascara.
While you may think heavy makeup will look nice in your final photos (and it might!), you are also likely to look at yourself in your new photos and feel like you don’t look like “you”. This is usually a bad thing for your self image (it doesn’t feel great), and it is *definitely* a bad thing for photos for your online dating profile (but I’ll get to that).
If you choose to wear make-up for your photoshoot, below are a few specific tips to keep in mind:
Shiny skin can be problematic in a photoshoot because it can reflect light in unflattering ways. To be safe, avoid shimmery make-up for face and eyes (shiny lips are ok). And if you skew oily, consider bringing some oil-absorbing strips and/or pressed powder to your photoshoot to manage shine.
A lipstick color that is a shade or two darker than your natural lip color will make your smile pop by making your teeth look extra white.
If having your makeup done by a professional makeup artist would enable you to arrive at your photoshoot feeling more confident, then, by all means, schedule an appointment! Just make sure to communicate clearly with your makeup artist including sharing sample photos so that you are both on the same page about exactly how you want your makeup to look for your photoshoot.
Bonus Tip: Use Crest White Strips at least three times during the week before your headshot photos are taken so your teeth are extra white.
When it comes to how to style your hair for professional photography, the same general ideas apply:
I wear my hair up in a bun or clip most days for practical (and lazy) reasons. But what I would consider my day to day *best*, and how I always wear my hair when I want to feel pretty, is down. Every time I’ve hired a professional portrait photographer for myself I have worn my hair down and been glad I did.
If you prefer to wear your hair up for your photoshoot, I encourage you to wear it “loosely”, rather than tight to avoid looking straight-on like you have no hair.
And if it would make you feel the most confident if a professional hairstylist does your hair for your photoshoot, then do it! Ideally you will make an appointment with your usual stylist or someone you already know and trust so there are low odds of a bad experience.
**A note on curly hair: I have curly hair so I know firsthand about the love-hate relationship many curly girls have with our hair. In some ways I feel more like “me” when I wear my hair curly. BUT, wearing my hair blown out in loose waves gives me more control and confidence that I will have a good hair day (curls can be so fickly).
Alright let’s dive into hair and make-up for online dating photos specifically because, unlike a photoshoot for your personal life (like family photos or boudoir photos), dating app photography has a very clear, very defined purpose: to represent you in an attractive and *AUTHENTIC* way to your future lover(s) / spouse.
Your choices about how to do your hair and makeup for online dating photos should all be in service of creating photos of you that are beautiful, yes, but just as important:
When you show up on a first date, you want your date to think, “Yep! That’s her. So, in general, as you are planning your hair and makeup for your dating photoshoot, ask yourself:
- Is this pretty close to how I normally look? Or at least how I'd look on a first date?
- Does this hair and make-up look make sense for where I am and what I'm doing?
- Do I look like I take good care of myself?
I'll break it down with a little more detail:
One important function of your online dating photos is to set accurate expectations, expectations that you will then meet when you show up for a first date. You want your date to think “yep, that’s her!”. It might seem small but it’s important because it's about building trust.
Looking substantially different in person than you do in your dating photos is not good, whether you look younger or more made up… looking different in your photos than you do in real life is misleading and can fall into the bucket of catfishing (yes, even if you are doing it unwittingly).
A dating profile pic that does not match how you currently look in real life sends the message that you either don't know you look different, which might mean you’re out of touch or inattentive, or you do know, and you don’t care, which raises red flags about whether you’re a person who can be trusted (all of these kinds of judgments are happening on the split-section gut-reaction level).
This means it’s best to go with hair and make-up for a dating photoshoot that is close to what you wear in your day to day life, or what you might wear on a first date.
Looking like you’re in full stage make-up for a Broadway musical or a shoot for Vogue magazine would be off target for dating photos of you playing tennis, out on a boat, or reading on your couch.
But a more dramatic makeup look would make total sense if you’re dressed like you’re going out for a night on the town.
This can be a little tricky if your online dating photoshoot includes some dressy vibes as well as more active/sporty photos (which it almost certainly will if we do a Whole 9 dating photo package).
How I typically like to handle this is to be strategic about the sequence in which we photograph you doing various activities. If you want to wear your hair down in your dating pics, it might make sense to shoot sporty dating photos at the end of your photoshoot so you can rock a ponytail without worrying about trying to get your hair to look good down again.
For other clients, if hair is less of a concern, it might make more sense to shoot the most dolled-up photos at the end of the photoshoot because then you can add more make-up, like red lipstick!
There’s no one-size-fits-all strategy here but the point is, we can make a strategy that fits you so your hair and makeup evolve to make sense with each location and activity in your online dating photography session.
Looking well-cared-for is always, always a win on dating apps (because everybody wants a partner who takes good care of themself!). This doesn’t have to mean looking high maintenance (although it can and should if that’s accurate for you, because some partners love that); it can apply to many things like:
The bar is not terribly high here. Hopefully this is all stuff you’re already doing!
If you wear glasses all the time, definitely wear them in your dating photos. If you wear glasses some of the time, bring them to your photoshoot so you can wear them in some photos and not in others (options!).
No matter what, clean your glasses right before you have your picture taken! Even the littlest bit of dust on your lenses can show up in your dating photos.
And DEFINITELY DO NOT WEAR TRANSITION LENSES to any photoshoot… or at all. With natural light photography, transition lenses almost always darken slightly, hiding your eyes and looking like awkward non-sunglasses sunglasses.
And that’s a wrap! If you’re reading this and haven’t already pulled the trigger on professional online dating photography, check out my 30-minute Quickie Dating Headshots package – people love it.
I help people find love on dating apps like Hinge and Bumble. My superpower as a professional dating profile photographer is less about photography skills and more about my way with people. I make regular folks look confident, warm, totally genuine, and effortlessly magnetic in their online dating photos by making them *feel* confident, warm, and magnetic in real life.
