When David first reached out about a dating photoshoot in Redmond, he’d been dating casually for about 18 months. He was using the apps with some success — getting matches, going on dates, some short-term “situationships.”
He just wasn’t connecting with women he could actually picture a future with.
At 30, established in his career and clear about what he wanted, David told me he was ready to build a life with someone. Not more dates. Not just chemistry. He wanted real partnership. Depth. Compatibility. A teammate.
It’s worth mentioning: David is smart, disciplined, and deeply multi-dimensional. A serious athlete. A respected professional.
Objectively speaking? He’s a catch.
The issue wasn’t substance — David has plenty of that. It was signal. His dating profile didn’t communicate “serious about finding my person” or “future husband material,” and (predictably) it wasn’t attracting future-wife material.
So we set out to fix that with a Redmond dating photography session designed to reflect who he actually is — and to draw in the kind of woman he could build a life with.
David updated his Hinge photos after our Redmond dating photoshoot. Less than a month later, he met Sara.
She’s now his wife.
And they have a baby girl.
But let’s rewind.
The photos David had been using on Hinge were standard issue: a few selfies, some hiking shots, and a couple of “look at this delicious meal” moments.
On the surface, they weren’t terrible.
And they were working... sort of — he was getting matches.
Just not the right ones.
Because while it was clear that David is attractive and seemed normal … that’s about where the clarity stopped.
Who is he, really?
What does his day-to-day life feel like?
What kind of partner would he be?
His photos didn’t answer those questions.
They showed a random collection of moments. They didn’t communicate identity or substance.
This is what I call "low-signal".
None of these shots were doing the job of signaling compatibility to the right women, so we tossed them.
But not all of David's old dating photos had to go. There were two in the mix that stood out.
This image is powerful — The symmetry. The athleticism. The sense of movement.
It says: legitimate athlete. Discipline. Drive.
There’s no ambiguity here. It communicates something specific and true about him — instantly.
This one is… wild. A rowing machine on a mountain?
It’s unexpected. Slightly absurd. Very badass.
More importantly: it invites conversation.
How could someone see this on Hinge and not ask what was going on?
*Dating photos that spark a question and have a good story behind them are solid gold.
Once we stripped his profile down to the two rowing images, the gaps became obvious:
David needed a strong, warm, close-up dating headshot photo to start his profile and trigger an immediate, instinctual "YES" from high-caliber women.
None of David's dating photos showed him in date clothes, or in date contexts — places he might actually meet a woman for a first or second date.
The rowing shots communicated peak performance.
But what about a Tuesday? A glimpse of David's routines and regular stomping grounds?
Many men are tempted to load their dating profiles with exciting adventure photos ("look at me — I'm fun!"), but clues about normal, boring, stable daily context go a long way for relationship-minded women on dating apps.
This is the big one — nothing in the David's set created emotional connection.
We needed approachability, warmth, "join me" energy. Photos that invite women to imagine walking beside him. Laughing with him. Being in his space.
Once David and I got to know each other I put together a plan for his dating photography session.
David spends his days on the Eastside, mostly in Redmond where he works, lives, and rows. So a Redmond dating photoshoot made total sense. The plan included:
We started at Victor's Celtic Coffee.
Soft light. Lattes in hand. Relaxed, unhurried conversation. The kind of atmosphere you might have on a really good first date.
From there, David changed and we headed to Spark Pizza for a slightly different social angle — still date-forward, still grounded in real life. These weren’t “look at me” photos. They were “this is where I spend time” photos.
Next, he dressed things up a bit and we moved to the Matador and along Cleveland Street. These shots were about polish. Structure. Showing that when the moment calls for it, David looks sharp and put-together — which, frankly, matters. Especially in the PNW where casual fashion reigns. (I’ve written more about why you should dress up in one of your dating photos here.)
Curious how a custom dating photoshoot like this actually comes together? Here’s how the High-Signal Half-Day works.
Once we wrapped downtown, we shifted into athletics — but with context and warmth, not just intensity.
For most men, this much emphasis on sport would be overkill. For David, it was essential. He rows five days a week before sunrise. Coaches. Competes. The Sammamish Rowing Association is his second home.
We started at the boathouse. And this part was telling: as we were shooting, other rowers kept coming and going, calling out to him, stopping to chat. He’s either their coach or their teammate. He’s a fixture there. Clearly respected. Universally liked.
Then he pulled out a shell and we headed down to the dock along the river near Marymoor Park that flows into Lake Sammamish. Sun out. Neon lycra. Getting in and out of the boat. It was dynamic and specific and very “not your average PNW guy.”
Finally, David changed one more time and we headed to Bridle Crest Trail for hiking photos that felt open and invitational. Less summit-flexing. More “come walk beside me.”
By the end of the day, we hadn’t created a new persona.
We’d captured the real one.
Here are a few highlights:
Balanced. Intentional. Filled with depth and substance.
David uploaded his new photos to Hinge.
The response was immediate.
Yes, there were more matches. But more importantly, they felt different. Thoughtful. Aligned. Women who actually made sense for him.
He told me:
"For a week straight I had a date every night — which is so unlike me. I’m usually a homebody, but I figured, let's try and find if any of these women are right for me."
And that was it.
Sara later told me that David’s photos stopped her mid-scroll.
Not because they were flashy.
Because they felt intentional. Grounded. Real. Like he knew who he was. Like someone she wanted to get to know better
In this short video, she laughs about what David paid for his Redmond dating photography session. At the time, she thought it sounded expensive.
And then she says something that gets me every time:
Without those photos, she would have kept scrolling.
About a year later, I got a text from David.
He was going to propose to Sara.
The plan: hike up Mount St. Helens before sunrise. Sara would be hiking with a friend. David would already be at the summit, ring in hand.
He asked if I’d come photograph it.
Lord, I would have moved mountains to be there. Unfortunately, I was eight and a half months pregnant and not up for the climb. David recruited a friend to photograph it instead — and the shot is epic:
David and Sara met each others families. They got married. They bought a home in Bothell.
When Sara got pregnant, they reached out again — this time for maternity photos.
“I was so impressed — not just because the pictures were fantastic (the reason I swiped!), but because they gave me a true glimpse into his life and what he loves.
Reaching out to Andrea for our maternity shoot was a no-brainer.”
In March 2025, they welcomed a sweet baby girl — Hazel.
I’m now their family photographer, documenting each new chapter as it unfolds.
When you ask David how he knew Sara was the one, he doesn’t give some cinematic answer. He talks about alignment — about how their values line up, how easy it feels to be together, and how his life was already really good, and somehow became better with her in it.
A dating photoshoot doesn’t create that kind of connection. What it does is make it possible.
The right dating photos help the right person actually see you. They open the door. They give someone like Sara a reason to pause instead of scroll.
In David’s case, that pause turned into a date. The date turned into something real. And now there’s a little girl in the world who wouldn’t exist if David hadn’t decided to take his dating life seriously.
If you’re looking for a Redmond dating profile photographer because you’re ready for something real — this is the work.
Not ego shots. Not photos focused on looking "cool".
Strategic, thoughtful dating photography that reflects who you actually are, so the right women lean in.
If you want to talk about what that could look like for you, and see if we're a fit — let's chat.
Choosing photos for your online dating profile is hard — and on the surface, it usually feels hard because you’re hunting for photos where you look good.
But attractive photos ≠ an effective dating profile.
You can look good in your dating photos and still have your profile underperform — not because the photos are bad, but because they aren’t doing a few essential jobs.
The four photos below aren’t about personal style or "nice to have".
They’re the minimum bar your dating photos need to clear.
On their own, they don't make a great or complete dating profile.
But every great profile includes all four.
When dating apps don’t work, it’s often usually your photos are failing in one or more of six common ways.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies your dominant photo failure mode and shows you what to fix first.
👉 Take the free Dating Photo Audit
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
Your headshot is the single most important photo in your dating profile. It’s the gatekeeper.
This should be the very first photo someone sees and it needs to trigger a clear, immediate “yes, I want to see more” response in your ideal matches. If it doesn't, the rest of your profile doesn’t matter because it will never get seen.
The job of your headshot is not to look sexy or mysterious or cool.
It’s to make someone feel safe, curious, and open enough to keep looking.
A strong dating headshot clearly shows:
Smiling is good. Not smiling also works.
If you aren't getting matches you're excited about on apps like Hinge and Bumble, suspect #1 is your first photo.
Most dating headshots fail for predictable reasons:
These photos may not be bad per se, they're just not doing their job.
This is the single highest-leverage photo in your entire dating profile.
If you only fix one thing, fix your first photo, and make it a headshot.
When you meet someone the old fashioned way (in person) there is no scenario in which part or most of their body is totally hidden from you. But this can happen on dating apps and it's best to avoid it.
Because you do not want anyone to feel surprised by what you look like when you show up on a first date.
Your full-body photo should give a general, honest sense of:
That’s it.
Despite what you may have heard, this photo doesn’t need to show you head-to-toe. A knees-up photo is totally fine. Very few people are hiding anything below the knees.
You can be seated or standing. Facing forward or slightly turned. All of that works.
Most people aren’t trying to mislead anyone — but when a full-body photo is missing on a dating profile, it creates hesitation.
Potential matches start wondering:
That doubt is often enough to kill interest, even if everything else in the profile is solid.
Full-body photos usually fail because:
PRO TIP:
If you are attempting the full-body dating photo as a mirror selfie (not ideal but if you must), hold the camera down by your waist rather than up by your face to elongate proportions.
The full-body dating photo isn’t about looking shredded or hot.
It’s about removing uncertainty.
Across your dating profile, you want a mix of expressions — but at least one photo needs to show a genuine smile.
A real smile instantly signals warmth, approachability, and emotional safety. It’s one of the fastest ways to establish a positive connection
But this only works if the smile is actually real.
A real smile isn’t about showing teeth.
It’s about what the rest of your face is doing — especially your eyes.
In a genuine smile:
A fake smile is easy to spot: the mouth is smiling, but the eyes look flat or tense. Even if viewers can’t explain why, it often reads as guarded or uncomfortable.
Here's a look at the difference between a fake and a real smile (notice his eyes):
Most fake smiles happen because people are:
The easiest way to get a genuine smile is to have the photo taken while you’re actually smiling — mid-conversation, mid-laugh, or in a moment where your attention is on something other than the camera.
Read: Why Fake Smiles Are Killing Your Dating Photos (and what to do instead)
👉 Take the free Dating Photo Audit
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
AKA a photo of you doing something you enjoy.
Up to this point, your photos are doing important structural work:
This one does something different.
The job of a lifestyle or activity photo is to provide information about what kind of person you are.
A good activity photo offers clues about:
It also does double duty as a conversation starter. A well-chosen activity photo often becomes the thing someone messages you about first.
This should be of you doing something you actually enjoy doing.
Not something you tried once.
And not something you think will look impressive or were told you "should" do.
If you like hiking, show that.
If you’re a homebody who loves cooking and reading, show that.
Specific beats impressive. Every time.
Lifestyle photos usually fail when:
People are surprisingly good at sensing when something isn’t quite true — even if they can’t articulate why. And if you stage a lifestyle photo that is not authentic to you and somehow pull it off, you risk attracting the wrong kinds of matches — and missing the right ones.
This photo isn’t about showing off.
It’s about sending authentic signals about what your life is actually like.
When this photo works, it attracts people who resonate with your life — and quietly filters out people who don’t.
That’s not a downside. That’s the point.
Say, for example, you like to spend every weekend camping and hiking in the woods. Showing you camping and/or hiking in one of your dating profile photos will be attractive to outdoorsy people who also like those things. Plus, it will be a deterrent for folks who hate hiking and camping, ya know? You won’t waste your time on them.
Or maybe you’re a bit of a homebody and like to cook and read. Infuse some of that into your dating profile photos so peeps who also like to be cozy at home can see you doing that and imagine being there with you (and maybe think, “phew! Thank god she’s not one of those avid hiking girls”). In terms of what hobbies or activities to include in your dating profile photos, that all depends on you. The right answer is: hobbies and activities you actually do and enjoy. Anything can work here, from a photo of you sipping coffee at your favorite local cafe, browsing through old vinyl at a record store, off-roading like Scott, playing your guitar, gardening, reading tarot cards, the possibilities are endless.
This one is not typical and you probably won’t find it on any other “what photos to include in your online dating profile” lists. But hear me out:
Including a laughing pic as one of your online dating photos is unexpected and guaranteed to elicit smiles from potential matches (thank you, mirror neurons!).
Mid-laugh is totally guard-down, definitely not trying to look cool, and fully present in the moment — all ridiculously attractive. Plus, it can add levity and brightness to a dating profile that might otherwise skew too serious, moody, or cool.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
Your dating profile is basically your movie trailer. If it doesn't catch someone's attention, they're not sticking around for the feature film. And your photos? They're the opening scene.
Choosing the right online dating photos from your camera roll can feel weirdly high-stakes—because it is. Let's make it easier.
This Ultimate Guide is your roadmap to picking dating profile pictures that tell your story, spark connections, and get more right swipes from the kinds of people you’ll be excited about dating.
Every choice you make—from the clothes you wear to the way you stand — sends subconscious signals on your dating profile, whether you realize it or not.
A genuine smile shouts "I'm kind and fun to be around!"
A wrinkled shirt might whisper "I don't have my life together."
An AI dating photo could signal “I don’t have any decent real photos of myself” and, “I’m hoping you won’t notice this is an AI photo”
People aren't just judging your looks on your dating profile; they're piecing together a general sense of you and trying to imagine what it would feel like date you.
👉 Take the free Dating Photo Audit
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
The good news is that you can use this guide to help avoid common mistakes and maximize that odds that your dating photos are working for you and not against you.
Since this is a pretty long post, here’s a handy “table of contents”:
2. Keep it Real
3. Each photo should serve a purpose
4. Prioritize flattering lighting
8. Mix it up
9. Ok to include one “mystery” photo
When people look at your online dating photos, they aren't just seeing your face—they're reading your body language, your energy, your vibe. Your photo should make someone think, "Wow, they seem like they'd be fun to talk to," not "Yikes, are they okay?"
This means, no matter how killer your outfit, no matter how good your hair, you need to take a good hard look at your facial expression and body language before deciding whether or not a photo makes the cut for your dating profile.
What I mean is:
Warm/confident/genuine facial expressions & body language matter more than just about every other aspect of a dating photo.
▪︎ Pick dating profile pics where you look relaxed and present.
▪︎ Avoid anything where you look stiff, timid, guarded, or checked out.
▪︎ NO fake smiles. (Seriously. I have a whole blog post about fake smiles if you want the full rant.)
You want to capture that elusive "spark" — that feeling of ease and confidence that makes people curious to learn more. And that happens through your facial expressions and body language.
Online dating already feels to many people like a carnival funhouse of distorted reality. Don't add to the madness by using photos that look nothing like you or that look like they’ve been altered.
▪︎ No photos where you look significantly different than you do now (diff age, diff hair, etc.)
▪︎ Keep filters and editing to a minimum (or skip altogether)
▪︎ No AI-generated dating profile pictures.
The more our world skews toward an AI-generated virtual reality, the more people are responding to anything that feels real (and the more allergic we’re all getting to things that feel fake).
Every online dating photo on your profile should do at least one of these two things (bonus points if it does both):
▪︎ Show off your appearance in a flattering way.
▪︎ Tell a story about your life.
Imagine a stranger looking through your profile pictures as a group: Will they get a clear, dynamic sense of what you look like AND what you're like to spend time with? That's the goal.
Lighting can make or break any photo–sometimes more than the outfit, the location, or even your expression. And this holds true for online dating photos as well. Bad lighting can age you, blur you, or make you look grumpy or unwell when you were actually having fun.
▪︎ Avoid overhead lighting as it will usually throw your eyes into shadow (skull vibes 💀)
▪︎ Avoid squinting into bright sunlight.
▪︎ Avoid back-lighting (aka background is bright but you are dark)
▪︎ Go for soft, natural light (from a window if you’re indoors, or in the shade if you’re outside)
Flattering light makes everything about you—your smile, your eyes, your vibe—shine a little brighter.
Selfies are tricky. They can easily fall flat on a dating profile and/or read as lazy, self-indulgent, or just...forgettable.
▪︎ Absolutely no bathroom mirror selfies (this includes gym mirror selfies)
▪︎ If you include a selfie, make it interesting / give it a good reason (like you were at an interesting location (psssst...whenever possible, instead of a selfie, get someone else to take your picture. Here are tips about how to ask a stranger to take your picture)
If the only thing going for a selfie is that you were looking hot and feelin’ yourself, think long and hard about including it on your dating profile.
Group shots can seem like a good idea (“Look! I have friends!”), but they come with risks. If someone has to scrutinize every person in the photo to figure out which one is you, you've already lost their attention.
▪︎ You must be the star. Instantly recognizable, and a main focus of the photo, ideally giving leading man (or lady) energy.
▪︎ No one of your same sex should be more attractive than you. (brutal but crucial)
▪︎ No confusing ex-vibes. If it *might* look like you're cozy with an ex (or cropped one out), it's a no.
▪︎ If you’re a straight man, avoid being surrounded by attractive women. (this does not give “I’m available” vibes, and can come across a little playboy-ish which can be a major turn-off, especially to future-wife-material women)
Need more tips on group photos? I’ve got you – here’s an in-depth post about the 3 rules for group photos on dating profiles.
A good full-body photo is essential on a dating profile. Speaking bluntly, the job of the full-body dating photo is to give potential matches a sense of your general build and physique.
Many dating apps crop photos into a square which can be tricky for full-body shots, because the tendency is to shoot a full-body photo vertically. The problem is, when you crop a vertical photo into a square, you lose space from the top and/or bottom of the photo, which can mean cutting off part of your legs.
You only get a handful of dating profile pics. Make them count by making them different. Variety not only keeps things interesting—it also shows the many sides of you.
▪︎ Two nearly identical headshots? Pick one.
▪︎ Two photos playing tennis? Save one, swap the other.
▪︎ Two outfits that look the same? Only use one of them
Your online dating photos should tell a full, colorful, multi-dimensional story about you. Repeating any elements in multiple photos, especially when you only get 6 photos, is like leaving cards on the table.
If you have a photo where your face isn’t fully visible (because your back is turned, you’re wearing sunglasses, etc)—you can include it in your online dating profile if it tells a story. We’ll call this kind of photo a “mystery photo”
▪︎ You’re in motion, living life and doing something cool (think: rock climbing, taking in an epic view, etc.)
▪︎ It sparks curiosity or conversation.
Once you've narrowed your photos down, here’s your final homework:
Scroll through your chosen dating profile pics and zoom out, metaphorically; think about them holistically, like a photo essay about your life.
Ask yourself:
▪︎ Does this person signal secure, fun, warm, and engaging?
▪︎ Do they feel real, authentic, and multidimensional?
▪︎ Is there a mix of flattering portraits and story-driven moments?
If yes—you're on solid ground. If no—there's more work to do.
👀 Get a Gut Check — a short, honest video review of your actual photos ($75).
And if you're sitting there thinking, "Help, I am terrible at this," good news: the blog is filled with content to help you learn how to leverage dating apps effectively. Here are two posts that are a great place to start:
★ Remove these 5 photos from your dating profile ASAP
★ 4 Reasons you're choosing the wrong dating photos
I'm here for it! I'll do the heavy lifting and you can stay focused on the stuff that you're good at.
Let’s be real: swiping through dating apps can feel like an endless sea of boring selfies, fake smiles, and awkward snapshots. This is especially true for women, who are typically inundated with more likes than they can realistically sift through.
One often-overlooked way to stand out on apps like Hinge and Bumble: HUMOR!
A great sense of humor can significantly elevate a person’s attractiveness, not just in real life but online.
Making people laugh, or even just crack a smile, is a great way to capture attention and stand out on dating apps.
If you’re not a particularly playful person, don’t feel like you should add humor into your dating profile (there is definitely no “should” here, just an opportunity). But if you are playful and funny, here’s how you can bring that to light in your online dating photos.
Forget the posed shots—capture a moment when you're genuinely having fun. Whether you're making goofy faces, juggling apples at the grocery store, wrestling with your dog, or dancing like no one's watching at your cousin’s wedding…
👉🏻Pro Tip: The key to playful photos landing properly is that they are genuine – your facial expression and body language should be fully engaged and invested in the play. So there’s no half-assing this one, you’re either all-in or skip this.
Why not recreate an iconic photo or meme? It’s quirky and creative and honestly a little difficult to pull it off (which means that when you do, it can be solid gold).
This one is a seriously bold move and needs to be done right or not at all. What doing it right looks like:
▪︎ make sure your facial expression signals that this is a send-up / spoof or you might be mistaken for being earnest
▪︎ choose a *recognizable* photo or meme to spoof, otherwise nobody will get the humor
Gently poking fun at yourself can show humility and authenticity, two highly attractive qualities. Snap a relatable self-deprecating photo—maybe you’re comically struggling at yoga, battling kitchen disasters, or all-in on a ridiculous costume & character.
Photos like these say, “I’m real, approachable, and can laugh at life’s mishaps”.
Don’t underestimate the power of clever wording in your photos. Funny signs, punny shirts, or hilariously relevant background props can turn your picture into a laugh-out-loud moment. Plus, it’s a great icebreaker. You might plan out something clever in advance and then take pictures of it, or something might happen serendipitously (as these two examples did).
Lean into your goofy side with your wardrobe and/or poses. Pull out the outrageous sweater, the funny hat, or that ridiculous Russian track suit that always makes your friends chuckle, then OWN IT.
Strike a playful pose or goofy expressions. It’s charming, brave, and endearing.
You may be noticing a trend with this post– there’s no half-assing humor, it’s 100% or not at all.
You know that unfiltered belly laugh photo you have somewhere? Yep, that's the one. Genuine laughter is irresistible—it shows you're real, in-the-moment, and someone who's just plain fun to be around.
Bringing humor into your dating photos isn’t just about entertainment—it’s your secret weapon. It makes you stand out, makes you approachable, and can attract matches who vibe with your unique personality.
Want more DIY tips to make your online dating profile great? I got you:
5 Tips for sporty online dating photos
Remove these photos from your dating profile ASAP
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
Whether you're updating your dating profile, traveling solo, or just catching a cool moment, being able to ask a stranger to take your picture is a power move. It can mean the difference between a bland selfie and a shot that captures you living your best life.
Asking strangers to take your picture is a particularly high-impact skill to master if you have an active dating profile because it will enable to keep your profile fresh over time. They won't all turn out well (honestly, the majority will be duds), but the more you capture the higher the odds that you'll get a real banger once in a while.
The good news is that, just like any skill, asking someone to snap your picture will become easy after a bit of practice. And (introverts and tech folks I'm talking to you) -- it doesn't have to be awkward ! Here's how to pull it off like a pro.
Timing matters. Moments that are ideal for asking somebody to take your picture are when:
Choosing who to ask is key to getting a great shot. Here’s what to look for:
Avoid people who seem distracted, stressed, or hurried — you'll get a better result (and better energy) by asking someone who’s already in "photo mode."
Don’t have to overthink it. All you say is:
"Hey, would you mind taking a quick photo of me?"
You can even follow it up with something to lower the stakes like:
"No pressure to be fancy — just a quick one would be awesome."
Keep it casual and friendly — you’ll sound normal, confident, and easygoing which makes the whole thing feel totally natural.
Look for a person who is already taking a picture of someone (like their friends or their partner). You can start by saying:
"Want me to snap a few shots of all of you together?"
99% of the time they will be thrilled that you offered. Then you can follow it up with,
"Hey, can you snap a few of me too?"
Literally everyone will be happy to return the favor.
Don’t leave it all to chance! A little direction goes a long way:
👉 Pro tip: Lightly joke, "Feel free to take a few — I'm notorious for blinking at the wrong moment."
This not only makes it a little playful but also encourages and reinforces that you want multiple shots (this is key. More shots = more chances of a good one).
Even if it feels a little awkward, act like it’s totally normal — because it is.
Most strangers are happy to help — and you might even make someone’s day by trusting them with a tiny, easy mission.
I'm not a big fan of upgrading my gear all the time just because a new version comes out but the truth is, in my personal life my phone functions as my camera. I want great photos in my personal life which means having a good camera in my pocket. So... when Apple makes a meaningful camera improvement tin the latest iPhone, I bite the bullet and make the upgrade, and you should too. (Same goes for Android users).
Online dating success often comes down to showing yourself living your life — not just posing for selfies.
Being able to get natural, engaging photos while you’re out and about gives your profile way more personality and authenticity.
Even if you're not a pro photographer (or working with one), a few candid shots at cool locations can seriously upgrade your dating photos — and your matches.
To improve the quality of the photos all these strangers are going to take of you, read up on fake smiles and how to replace them with genuine ones (you can thank me later!).
Want to find out whether your dating photos are working against you? And if they are— what to do about it?
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads required · Instant Results
One of the things I love most about being a professional photographer in the Seattle area is that there are so many different neighborhoods, all with their own unique personalities and vibes.
If you dig an upscale, urban vibe, South Lake Union might be a fantastic place to shoot your new online dating photos. Think: cityscapes, modern architecture, tech industry, and bustling energy. And, if you're a techie who already lives and/or works in the neighborhood, a dating photoshoot in SLU might make sense because it's a genuine reflection of you in your everyday world.
You can absolutely create a collection of photos diverse enough to build a killer Hinge profile without leaving SLU (I've done it!). But, because South Lake Union is smack dab in the middle of Seattle, it is also super easy to explore other nearby neighborhoods like Capitol Hill, Queen Anne, or Belltown.
Whether you're working with me as your dating photographer or planning your own DIY Seattle dating photoshoot, here's a round-up of some of my favorite spots for dating photos around SLU.
One of Seattle's most gorgeous urban parks is Lake Union Park. The fact that we have a lake (actually, *multiple* lakes (Greenlake!)) within a metropolitan area is a truly delightful feature of Seattle. And what a treasure that there's a big glorious park taking up the entire southern shore of Lake Union.
Nothing screams Seattle more than the lake, seaplanes, and epic city views. Lake Union Park is perfect if you want lots of variety within one park -- water views, cityscapes, a marina with historic wooden boats, running trails, and plenty of places to kick back and relax.
Just a few blocks south, Denny Park is Seattle's OG urban park. It has big trees, classic walking paths and park benches, and lush greenery right in the heart of the concrete jungle. It’s great if you're going for a fresh, natural feel without straying more than a few blocks from the tech hub.
Futuristic, sleek, and iconic of Seattle tech culture, The Spheres definitely stand out visually. The blend of greenhouse vibes + aquariums + big tech somehow totally works. And while the spheres themselves are indeed cool, it's the area outside and around them that I love most for dating photography. Seattle poured a lot of money into this part of the city and it shows -- the visuals are fresh, sophisticated, and funky.
**note that you can't just walk into the spheres and start taking pictures! You need to arrange your visit in advance.
Just a few blocks away from the Spheres, there's a social club called The Collective Seattle. The several blocks surrounding the Collective are wonderful for dating photos with high-end city backgrounds. And if you know someone who is a Collective member, the interior is gorgeous (or you can just enjoy the lobby and patio with a cup from Crest Coffee Bar ☕️).
Speaking of coffee...
Monorail Espresso started as a coffee cart in 1980 so it's a bit of a slice of local history. The SLU location is a cute little walk-up coffee bar right in the middle of the neighborhood. It's got a small handful of tables outside, truly delicious espresso, and the most beautiful early morning light.
Laid-back, spacious, and trendy, Victrola in SLU is ideal for a casual photoshoot vibes in a warm-toned environment. Grab your favorite latte and kick back on one of their mid-century brown leather sofas or at one of many little bistro tables. They have big garage doors that open in the warmer months, giant antique paned windows, plus, miraculously, parking usually isn't terrible in the morning.
Scandi-chic at its best— somehow Cafe Hagen feels minimalist while also overflowing with plants. SO many plants. Their avocado toast is some of the best around. Plus, their outdoor patio is quite lovely with a community p-patch just across the street.
If you're feeling kinda swanky, just down the street from Cafe Hagen is mbar. As far as rooftop bars go, this place is unbeatable—think golden hour sunsets, sweeping Lake Union views, city lights, and a sophisticated but still funky atmosphere. Perfect for looking effortlessly cool while sipping on something classy.
Living in one of SLU’s many sleek high-rises? Do not miss the photo opportunities that exist on the rooftop of your building. Stunning skyline views, Puget Sound glimpses, and the iconic Space Needle in the background? Or hell, just a cool hangout area above the city. I've been on many rooftops in SLU and haven't met one I did like.
And that's a wrap! South Lake Union has tons to offer for photoshoots of all kinds, but especially online dating photoshoots.
Ready to make your online dating profile irresistible with dating photos that tell your story?
Truth be told, I learned about thirst trap photos from a client a few summers ago. As an “elder millennial,” I’m not always hip to the lingo. So for folks like me who need a definition, here’s what ChatGPT says:
A thirst trap dating photo is a pic strategically showcasing your body and sex appeal—think gym mirror selfies, swimsuit shots, or provocative outfits—intended to lure matches, rack up likes, and leave viewers thirsty for more.
Thirst trap photos can absolutely be good on a dating profile! But… they can also (and more easily) be cringey if done wrong.
Let me digress a little bit with a story:
It just so happens that the very client who taught me about thirst trap photos became a touch famous within a cluster of single Seattle ladies as a result of one.
I shot these photos when he was changing clothes during his dating photoshoot. Quick candid moment. No setup, no posing.
When I grunted (I can't help it sometimes) and showed Eric the back of my camera he laughed and said "thirst trap!".
Turns out Eric used the first one on his Hinge profile. Fast forward about a year, and I’m photographing a lovely female client who tells me she met Eric on Hinge—and they went on a few dates! Some of her single friends had also seen Eric’s profile, and everybody had taken to referring to him as “Hot Doctor.”
(And to be fair—Eric is indeed a hot doctor. ER doctor too, which is basically the ultimate in doctor dreaminess.)
Eric’s thirst trap photo didn’t work just because he has a chiseled physique (though that certainly didn’t hurt).
Here’s why it landed perfectly:
Ultimately, Eric’s thirst trap photo was a happy accident—and many of the most magnetic thirst trap dating photos are. Accidentally sexy = maximum sexy.
But here’s the good news:
You don’t have to rely on happy accidents.
If you’re feeling sexy and brave, you can absolutely plan a thirst trap photo that feels authentic and magnetic.
(Note: These rules are geared toward people using dating apps like Hinge and Bumble to find a long-term relationship. If you’re on Tinder sowing your wild oats, ignore everything and have fun. Totally different vibe!)
Even if you have multiple photos showing off your physique, resist the urge to include them all.
One is powerful. More than one is overkill.
Your first dating app photo should never be a thirst trap.
Lead with a warm, friendly, high-quality headshot photo that shows your face & eyes clearly. Drop the thirst trap later, around photo #4 or #5.
Context is everything for thirst trap dating photos. AKA, your shirt should be off for a reason.
Pro Tip: If the environment doesn't make sense for what you’re wearing, the photo can feel forced and awkward.
Photos that feel candid and unplanned—like you were just living your life and someone caught you at your best—are way sexier than ones that feel staged.
Think laughter, movement, or mid-action moments. Less flexing, more living.
The most attractive energy is confidence paired with humility.
If your thirst trap photo reads as "I know I'm hot" instead of "I'm having fun and feeling good," you’ll turn off a lot of matches who might otherwise swipe right.
Thirst trap dating photos don’t have to be cringe.
When done well, they can add a playful, flirty vibe to your dating profile—and even spark conversations that lead to real connection.
Remember: sexy is great. But sexy and real?
That’s irresistible.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
You’ve probably heard that you should have at least one smiling photo on your online dating profile: “Just smile!”, they say. But here’s the catch—if that smile isn’t real, it might be doing more harm than good.
As an online dating photographer, I’ve seen this issue over and over again: people showing up with good lighting, flattering outfits, and...a fake smile. And it kills the vibe.
Whether you're DIY-ing your Hinge profile pics or working with a dating photographer (hi, that’s me 👋), understanding the power of genuine expression is a game-changer for your online dating success.
A fake smile is like a mouth-only performance. Your lips pull into a grin, but the rest of your face stays uninvolved. The eyes? Blank. The energy? Flat. It’s the “smile for the camera” default most of us slip into automatically.
The first photo shows a classic "I've been told I should smile" fake smile. Not terrible, just...meh.
The second photo? That’s a real, full-face, lit-up smile—and you can feel the difference.
Let’s look at another example.
See the different? Left photo = fake smile. Right photo = REAL.
Want feedback on your dating photos — including whether your smiles are landing?
👀 Get a Gut Check — a short, honest video review of your actual photos ($75).
Most people aren’t consciously analyzing your photos like a body language expert. But we’re wired to pick up on subtle emotional cues—and fake smiles set off alarm bells.
Here’s how a fake smile can land:
On the flip side, a genuine smile triggers people’s built-in empathy and attraction systems. A real smile makes you look relaxed, confident, and totally un-self-conscious. That’s hot 🔥.
Speaking of hot...
Let’s make this really clear: a genuine smile doesn’t just make you look friendly—it literally makes you more attractive.
It’s been shown to light up people’s mirror neurons, which means your viewers actually feel your emotion in their own bodies. That emotional connection is gold when you're trying to stand out in a sea of dating profiles.
Here’s the twist: you can be stunning, stylish, and well-lit—and still come off as awkward or unappealing if your smile is fake.
Case in point:
This was a giant ad in the window of a chic boutique in Tampa FL.
Objectively speaking, this girl is a babe! But her expression is giving “hostage situation.” Her eyes aren’t engaged, her energy is frozen, and, instead of a smile, her mouth feels like a grimace; what should be captivating just ends up feeling cringey.
Meanwhile, someone with an average face and a deeply genuine smile? Magnetic 🧲.
In online dating photos, authenticity > perfection every single time.
Ready to upgrade your dating profile photos and ditch the fake smiles for good? Here's how.
Don’t leap into a grin the moment a camera appears. Give yourself a beat. Take a breath. Move. Feel something real before you smile. (pssst-- if I'm the one behind the camera the smiles will come easy 😘)
Instead of trying to “look happy,” focus on feeling connected or amused. Think about your favorite person. Imagine telling a silly story. The emotion will show up on your face naturally.
A relaxed, open expression with warm eye contact can be just as compelling—especially if you’re someone who doesn’t usually beam. The key is emotional presence, not showing teeth.
Dating photos aren’t just about showing what you look like—they’re telling people how it feels to be around you.
When your expressions are real, your profile radiates confidence, connection, and presence. When they’re fake, even your best features can fall flat.
So whether you're working with a dating photographer or snapping your own pics, remember: your face doesn’t have to be perfect—just honest.
Because the hottest thing in a dating photo? Being you.
Want to find out whether your dating photos are working against you? And if they are— what to do about it?
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Yay sports! First of all, if you do not partake of anything you would technically consider a “sport”, this post still applies to you. Hear me out:
When people are asked to list qualities that are important to them in a romantic partner, there is one near-universal item on the list:
This does not necessarily mean you look visually athletic (lean, muscly etc.), although that can be a perk.
Rather, folks want a partner who is physically fit and active because the quality and length of a person’s life is directly impacted by the degree to which they (and their partner) take proper care of their physical health.
As a general rule, when you can show something (in a dating photo) rather than tell it (in your written dating profile), go for the show.
Which is why, if you do anything physically active as part of your regular routine, it’s worth considering including it in one of your online dating photos.
So, how do you create (or identify) a solid sporty dating profile photo? What makes one sporty dating app photo feel authentic and endearing and what makes a different dating photo fall flat or come across as try-hard?
In fact, you might be a total novice! It is 100% ok to have an online dating photo of you doing something sporty or athletic that you are a total beginner at. And if you’re concerned that potential matches will presume you are great at that particular activity, take the opportunity to mention it in the written part of your dating profile. It could look something like this:
The one thing you should know about me
is that I recently joined a Monday morning pickle ball league where I regularly get schooled by ladies my grandma’s age.
It’s funny, it’s self-deprecating, and it’s totally relatable. It tells me "hey, this guy is clearly up for trying new things and willing to suffer the humbling process of being a beginner" -- I love this about him, and I want this in a partner. 👉🏻RIGHT SWIPE!
If the environment isn’t an actual competition setting, you probably would not be wearing your uniform / full regalia. Instead, wear the clothes you practice in.
If typically rock hella lycra when you bike or inline skate and don’t feel comfortable with this kind of clothing for your online dating photos, you could dial it back with clothes for a more casual ride:
Then again, why not rock the full lycra! It's bold, unapologetic, and authentic and, (presuming you're not making a contrived hard-core all-lycra face), it can be completely disarming and endearing:
It’s also smart to make sure the gear you’re wearing (clothes & shoes) looks like it’s been worn before. I’m not saying wear dirty-looking clothes, but just… instead of buying brand-new bright-spankin-white golf shoes & glove for your new dating photos, just wear your usual stuff. It’s subtle but it signals that you do in fact golf regularly.
This one is actually pretty simple:
Selfies in general do not perform well on dating apps, especially mirror selfies, and especially if you are a man who dates women. Yes, even if you're hella yoked and super hot.
(one of my favorite dating coaches Blaine Anderson has a rule – no more than one selfie on your dating profile.)
A mirror selfie at the gym with those classic gym bro “look at my physique” vibes– honestly it can work as a repellant for women you would be really excited about matching with. I don’t know exactly what it is about a gym selfie – it feels lazy, it reads as self-absorbed…it’s just not good.
A note on weight lifting:
If weights are a big part of your weekly/daily fitness routine, telling an authentic story about your life through your online dating photos could and probably should involve a weight-lifting photo.
It is possible to create a weight-lifting dating profile photo that doesn’t give “gym bro” vibes. It’s all about authentic facial expressions and body language (and it just can’t be a selfie). Lifting heavy with a big toothy grin on your face does not feel realistic; a look of intense focus does.
If you're smiling and looking like you're having actual fun in an online dating photo, you invite the viewer (who might be your future spouse!) to feel good with you, and to picture themself joining you.
Looking fully present in the moment usually happens by *being* fully present in the moment, which can be really hard if you are an introvert who doesn't like having your picture taken. One of my super powers as a professional dating profile photographer is that I can create an environment where even my most camera-shy clients let go, have fun, and forget they are having their picture taken.
Everybody loves an epic sports action photo – I’m talking about the kind of photo where someone is flying through the air spiking a volleyball, or sprinting past the camera, making contact with a home run ball.
But those epic sports photography moments typically happen as candid photos when someone is in the throes of an actual competition.
1. Most regular folks can’t achieve a peak physical sport moment on demand (or at all, lol!), and
2. Photographically capturing it, in focus, in the frame, without motion blur is technically quite difficult (shout out to all the sports photographers out there!)
Think: getting suited up, putting on your cleats, taking a break between sets, stretching, catching your breath, taking a water break, etc.
Remember, the purpose of a dating photo involving athletics is not to brag about being great at a particular sport. Hell, you might be a total newbie at Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and it would be ok to have a BJJ photo on your dating profile.
The goal of a quality sports dating profile photo is actually quite modest and achievable:
If you don’t consider yourself athletic, remember this:
If your version of “sporty” is going for a nice walk, that still counts! The point is that you’re active, you get outside, and you move your body. And this matters to most partners because it has a huge positive impact on day-to-day and long-term health and longevity.
And if you’ve gone full couch-potato mode and don’t currently do anything at all active, consider this your invitation to pick up something new today. It’s never too late! As a lifelong sporty gal, I firmly believe that the most important thing for sustainable fitness is finding activities that you truly enjoy.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
Full disclosure, this post is mostly aimed at reducing photoshoot anxiety for my shy introverts who get all tangled up with nerves about having their picture taken in public. It’s also a bit of an excuse to share some of my favorite Seattle dating photography photo bomber moments from the past year. If you want you can skip right to the end for those hilarious gems.
Ok, so you’re thinking about hiring a professional dating photographer (or you've already hired one, hopefully me!) but your stomach seizes up at the thought of having your picture taken. Add to that the thought of being out in public while someone is taking your picture – and maybe we’re at full-blown nausea.
I feel you, and you are not alone.
As is true with a lot of anxiety, there’s probably a fair amount of you imagining a scenario that is much worse than actual reality; conjuring up visions of strangers gawking at you while you stand stiffly with an awkward smile on your face just praying to be put out of your misery.
Let me put your mind at ease a little bit by describing what a Seattle dating photography session (yes, out in public) is actually like. If you can’t fully believe everything I’m about to say, at least give me the benefit of the doubt and stir these ideas in with your doomsday dating photography fears for a vision for something you can most definitely stomach.
First of all, 99.9% of the time I meet my dating profile photography clients shortly after sunrise (or as my dad says “the ass crack of dawn”). If you’re thinking “oh god, I’m getting my picture taken AND she wants me to wake up super early? Hear me out:
Picture it: the city is still waking up, meanwhile it’s you and me with my camera and just a few folks walking dogs or getting their morning coffee. Plus, morning light is gorgeous and so flattering for portraits. Plus PLUS, traffic and parking aren’t bad yet!
And, in case you’re imagining people stopping to stare, trust me that after more than a decade as a dating photographer and over 500 dating profile photoshoots…
The people who are out while we are doing your photoshoot are just normal folks, busy, and going about their day. Seeing someone having their picture taken is not unusual in Seattle. Plus, most folks are polite and make it a general practice not to gawk at strangers.
Now, we’re going to encourage this (being ignored) by being good pedestrians and courteous to those around us so we are not a menace to society by blocking doorways, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, or otherwise being a nuisance.
I always tell my dating profile photo clients “I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine”, meaning: if we’re in the way and somebody wants to pass, whoever sees that happening will alert the other person so we can politely step aside.
The good news is, (circling back here), it will be early in the day so not tons of folks out yet, and most shops and restaurants won’t be open for the day so we don’t need to worry about blocking their entry, leaning on their windows, and looking cute on their patio seating.
Seattle is not known for having the friendliest vibes but I promise you I’m being honest when I say that, when people are not ignoring us, they are being nice. In fact...
I’m not making this up! It’s almost always a variation of “lookin good!”, shared good-naturedly from somebody passing us on the sidewalk (or occasionally shouted from a truck, lol!). Sometimes it will be a specific compliment like “omg that coat is amazing on you”. Or a good 'ol fashioned cat call from a passing car.
One time a client literally got asked out on a date DURING her dating profile photoshoot in Bothell! Go Simone go! Here is the play-by-play:
Later during Simone's photoshoot a woman complimented her on her dress and wanted to know where she got it!
Getting asked out on a date during a photoshoot is not a common occurrence (though I wouldn't be mad if it happened more!) but you get the idea-- people generally politely ignore us and when they do interact, it's with words of affirmation.
And every so often (I love it SO much) a playful photo bomber will hop into the frame of an online dating photo.
Ok last but not least here, and not to be underestimated:
Not in a rom-com kind of way but in the way that time just flies by and you forget about everything going on around you when you’re hanging out with a good friend, deep in conversation and enjoying yourself.
My client Tyler (and many others) have said as much in their reviews about working with me:
“During the photoshoot Andrea was very friendly and super funny. She knows how to make you feel comfortable like you’ve known her for years.”
I know we haven’t known each other for years yet (or at all), but trust me when I say – a professional photoshoot out in public (with me anyway), not only isn’t bad, it’s FUN.
Ready to plan a shoot with me?
So you’ve scheduled a professional dating photography session – rad! As you’re figuring out what to wear in your online dating photos, you’re probably also thinking about hair and makeup.
How to do your hair and makeup for your dating photoshoot can be unexpectedly stressful, especially if you don’t regularly get professional portraits taken, and especially if you’re like me and your typical hair and makeup look skews more minimalist.
Whether you typically wear a full face of makeup, or not a stitch of makeup at all; whether you love a good blowout or usually wear your hair in a messy bun, this post is meant to set you up to be confident in your decisions about how you’d like to look in your new online dating photos.
A lot of professional photographers will suggest that you “need” to have your hair and makeup done by a professional in order to be “camera ready”. After more than a decade as a portrait photographer, and with all due respect, I call bullshit.
In over a decade as a portrait photographer I have photographed thousands of women and this I know is true:
No woman “needs” to wear makeup to be beautiful (in general, or in photos).
And nobody “needs” professional hair and makeup for a photoshoot.
Let’s start with makeup for a photoshoot in general. If your day-to-day make-up look consists of chapstick and sunscreen, it would be 100% ok to rock that for your photoshoot. I have photographed many women with bare faces and guess what: they look gorgeous.
If you usually wear some makeup, but not much, that would also be fine for your photoshoot! You get the idea.
In my case, that means a little pressed powder, a touch of blush, some soft eye-shadow, a bit of brow pencil, and mascara.
While you may think heavy makeup will look nice in your final photos (and it might!), you are also likely to look at yourself in your new photos and feel like you don’t look like “you”. This is usually a bad thing for your self image (it doesn’t feel great), and it is *definitely* a bad thing for photos for your online dating profile (but I’ll get to that).
If you choose to wear make-up for your photoshoot, below are a few specific tips to keep in mind:
Shiny skin can be problematic in a photoshoot because it can reflect light in unflattering ways. To be safe, avoid shimmery make-up for face and eyes (shiny lips are ok). And if you skew oily, consider bringing some oil-absorbing strips and/or pressed powder to your photoshoot to manage shine.
A lipstick color that is a shade or two darker than your natural lip color will make your smile pop by making your teeth look extra white.
If having your makeup done by a professional makeup artist would enable you to arrive at your photoshoot feeling more confident, then, by all means, schedule an appointment! Just make sure to communicate clearly with your makeup artist including sharing sample photos so that you are both on the same page about exactly how you want your makeup to look for your photoshoot.
Bonus Tip: Use Crest White Strips at least three times during the week before your headshot photos are taken so your teeth are extra white.
When it comes to how to style your hair for professional photography, the same general ideas apply:
I wear my hair up in a bun or clip most days for practical (and lazy) reasons. But what I would consider my day to day *best*, and how I always wear my hair when I want to feel pretty, is down. Every time I’ve hired a professional portrait photographer for myself I have worn my hair down and been glad I did.
If you prefer to wear your hair up for your photoshoot, I encourage you to wear it “loosely”, rather than tight to avoid looking straight-on like you have no hair.
And if it would make you feel the most confident if a professional hairstylist does your hair for your photoshoot, then do it! Ideally you will make an appointment with your usual stylist or someone you already know and trust so there are low odds of a bad experience.
**A note on curly hair: I have curly hair so I know firsthand about the love-hate relationship many curly girls have with our hair. In some ways I feel more like “me” when I wear my hair curly. BUT, wearing my hair blown out in loose waves gives me more control and confidence that I will have a good hair day (curls can be so fickly).
Alright let’s dive into hair and make-up for online dating photos specifically because, unlike a photoshoot for your personal life (like family photos or boudoir photos), dating app photography has a very clear, very defined purpose: to represent you in an attractive and *AUTHENTIC* way to your future lover(s) / spouse.
Your choices about how to do your hair and makeup for online dating photos should all be in service of creating photos of you that are beautiful, yes, but just as important:
When you show up on a first date, you want your date to think, “Yep! That’s her. So, in general, as you are planning your hair and makeup for your dating photoshoot, ask yourself:
- Is this pretty close to how I normally look? Or at least how I'd look on a first date?
- Does this hair and make-up look make sense for where I am and what I'm doing?
- Do I look like I take good care of myself?
I'll break it down with a little more detail:
One important function of your online dating photos is to set accurate expectations, expectations that you will then meet when you show up for a first date. You want your date to think “yep, that’s her!”. It might seem small but it’s important because it's about building trust.
Looking substantially different in person than you do in your dating photos is not good, whether you look younger or more made up… looking different in your photos than you do in real life is misleading and can fall into the bucket of catfishing (yes, even if you are doing it unwittingly).
A dating profile pic that does not match how you currently look in real life sends the message that you either don't know you look different, which might mean you’re out of touch or inattentive, or you do know, and you don’t care, which raises red flags about whether you’re a person who can be trusted (all of these kinds of judgments are happening on the split-section gut-reaction level).
This means it’s best to go with hair and make-up for a dating photoshoot that is close to what you wear in your day to day life, or what you might wear on a first date.
Looking like you’re in full stage make-up for a Broadway musical or a shoot for Vogue magazine would be off target for dating photos of you playing tennis, out on a boat, or reading on your couch.
But a more dramatic makeup look would make total sense if you’re dressed like you’re going out for a night on the town.
This can be a little tricky if your online dating photoshoot includes some dressy vibes as well as more active/sporty photos.
How I typically like to handle this is to be strategic about the sequence in which we photograph you doing various activities. If you want to wear your hair down in your dating pics, it might make sense to shoot sporty dating photos at the end of your photoshoot so you can rock a ponytail without worrying about trying to get your hair to look good down again.
For other clients, if hair is less of a concern, it might make more sense to shoot the most dolled-up photos at the end of the photoshoot because then you can add more make-up, like red lipstick!
There’s no one-size-fits-all strategy here but the point is, we can make a strategy that fits you so your hair and makeup evolve to make sense with each location and activity in your online dating photography session.
Looking well-cared-for is always, always a win on dating apps (because everybody wants a partner who takes good care of themself!). This doesn’t have to mean looking high maintenance (although it can and should if that’s accurate for you, because some partners love that); it can apply to many things like:
The bar is not terribly high here. Hopefully this is all stuff you’re already doing!
If you wear glasses all the time, definitely wear them in your dating photos. If you wear glasses some of the time, bring them to your photoshoot so you can wear them in some photos and not in others (options!).
No matter what, clean your glasses right before you have your picture taken! Even the littlest bit of dust on your lenses can show up in your dating photos.
And DEFINITELY DO NOT WEAR TRANSITION LENSES to any photoshoot… or at all. With natural light photography, transition lenses almost always darken slightly, hiding your eyes and looking like awkward non-sunglasses sunglasses.
And that’s a wrap! If you’re reading this and haven’t already pulled the trigger on professional online dating photography, check out my Dating Photography for Women. And if it feels like a fit...
There’s a lot to love about the Ballard area of Seattle for professional dating photography. Ballard is just a little north of Seattle downtown and has it’s own totally unique vibe with tons going on in terms of shops and restaurants, night life, and the Ballard Farmers Market on Sundays – so many opportunities for shooting some rad dating photos!
Plus, the king of all Seattle waterfront parks is in Ballard – Golden Gardens. *Discovery Park and Alki Beach are also fan favorites but c’mon, that sandy beach at Golden Gardens on a summer afternoon? Dreamyyyyy.
Another solid reason to choose Ballard for your Seattle online dating photoshoot is if you live in nearby! Online dating photos at home are especially great because they give people clues about what your life is like.
The best dating photos don't just show people what you look like, they tell a story about what you're like as a person.
If you want to shoot "out and about" dating lifestyle photos AND dating photos at home, all in one photoshoot, it's best to choose locations that are near each other, like we did for Kellan when he was ready to ring in the new year with some updated Hinge profile photos.
We began Kellan’s dating photoshoot with lifestyle photography along Ballard Ave, Market Street, and Leary.
We got graffiti, date vibes, and sunshine (in Seattle. In January! a true pacific northwest miracle✨). When we were done shooting photos around town we headed to Kellen’s home, just a couple blocks north of downtown Ballard, for some dating lifestyle photos that show off his musical side.
By the way, if you’re an audiophile like Kellan, Ballard is the home of one of my favorite record stores in Seattle: Sonic Boom Records.
Are you in love with Ballard for online dating photos yet? If not, you will be soon 😘.
(this not an exhaustive list by any means, more like a “Seattle Dating Photography: Ballard Highlights Reel” situation )
Nine times out of ten I do my work as a dating profile photographer in the morning, before the city is fully awake yet (fewer people around + gorgeous morning light = killer dating photos). So, I often meet my dating photography clients at a cafe or coffee shop to begin.
📸 Check out How a Photoshoot with Dating Photo Co works
On the corner of Market St & Leary Ave NW, Victrola Coffee Roasters is in the perfect central location for Ballard dating photography. Victrola has good coffee, classic PNW coffee house vibes, and a very photogenic storefront with a distressed wood bar. Tom and Emily both started their online dating photography sessions at Victrola Coffee.
For tea enthusiasts, Miro Tea in Ballard is a total gem, plus the atmosphere feels a little bit like Paris with big picture windows and a set of cute little bistro tables out front – perfect for dating photos that invite your ideal matches to imagine sitting across from you on a first date.
Speaking of French cafe vibes, Sabine Cafe & Bar is my favorite brunch spot in Ballard and has a truly lovely interior for Seattle lifestyle photography. There’s an outdoor patio with a fireplace and colorful floral murals, an indoor bar and restaurant area, even the front entry is photogenic.
David and I met for coffee at Sabine to start his Seattle online dating photoshoot. Sabine’s location on Ballard Ave set us up nicely to shoot a wide variety of dating photos in a relatively short amount of time (since we were never walking more than a block or two from his car).
When David and I wrapped up shooting lifestyle photos around Ballard Ave, we made the quick drive over to Interbay Golf Center.
Whatever you enjoy doing to stay physically fit and active, it’s a good idea to show that in one of your online dating profile photos. Almost everyone wants a partner who takes good care of themself and is physically healthy.
Speaking of sporty...
Golden Gardens Park is an iconic Seattle landmark and has soooo much going on in terms of dating photo opportunities (it's also a beautiful spot to take a date!). When it comes to locations for outdoor Seattle dating photography, Golden Gardens slays. It has:
A sandy California-style west facing beach complete with beach volleyball courts...
A rugged, tree-lined rocky north beach...
A basketball court + a dog park...
A lovely little cove of trees in the sand...
Woodsy areas + a walking path down to the Shilshole Bay Marina...
AND…Golden Gardens Park has BATHROOMS! 🙌🏻 Not a spot I'd shoot dating photos but a serious perk for a Seattle park.
. . .
Ready for your own Seattle dating photography session?
If you’ve had a profile up on one or more dating apps for a while, and you finally pulled the trigger on hiring a dating photographer (or improving your dating photos on your own), this move could be the difference between getting a small bump in quality likes and matches, and a HUGE one.
Dating apps are attention marketplaces powered by algorithms. Each profile has an algorithmic ranking -- think of it like a credit score --based on the quality of the profile (photos, prompts, bio, etc.), the user's behavior on the apps, and the responses they get from other users. *this is a simplification of a complex technical process but you get the idea.
Here's the thing -- adding stellar new photos to a dating profile with a poor ranking will help, but there's a power move that can be a game changer and enable you to start fresh with a higher ranking , rather than trying to dig yourself out of a hole.
(or Bumble, or any Match Group apps)
‣ Fully delete your account (on Hinge or Bumble, whichever dating app). Not just the app! Deleting Hinge from your phone does not delete your account.
‣ Wait at least 90 days (I know, not ideal but I promise it's worth it)
‣ OR (and this is a heavy lift), skip the wait by starting a new profile with all new *everything* (not just email address and phone number but a literal new phone, IMEI, new SIM, etc.. Literally nothing that can tie you back to your old profile, including not a single dating photo you've ever used before. The apps have sophisticated fingerprinting technology so this is a varsity-level move with no guarantees. You'll want to do your own research before embarking on this path.
Deleting your dating profile and waiting at least 3 months means when you create a new account, you're showing up as a "new user".
The algorithms need to gather a lot of data fast on new users so they get a "new user boost" -- a 24-72hr period after launch with maximum visibility. A LOT of people see your profile in a short time so that app can learn about you and also give you a sense that this is a magical and bountiful place filled with potential dream lovers so stay on here and keep scrolling (lol! remember - -dating apps are for-profit businesses, so this is all strategic).
In my early days as a dating profile photographer (before I knew anything about algorithms and Hinge didn't even exist yet) I saw this play out with a savvy client. Here's how it went down...
After his Level Up Dating Photoshoot, Seth uploaded his new dating pics to his old Bumble profile, and left his written bio pretty much the same.
Seth’s Bumble profile photos before he hired me for dating photography were...not great.
In his new dating profile photos Seth looks HELLA FINE. To be fair, Seth *is* hella fine. But he also hired a great dating profile photographer (I’m not even attempting to be modest anymore, lol!).
Anyhow, after his dating photo session Seth uploaded his new hella fine dating photos to old Bumble profile. He told me,
"I saw a slight increase in likes and matches but it didn't feel right considering the giant leap in the quality of my new photos..."
He marinated on it for a week and then decided to do a full dating profile reset.
He deleted his Bumble account, waited 48hrs (back in the day, this was long enough but the apps wised up and extended the length of time they hold onto user data.
By deleting the app, waiting, then starting fresh, Bumble's algorithms saw Seth as fresh meat. And in this case, the meat was FRESSSSHHHHH because his new dating photos looked amazing!
If you’ve massively improved the quality of your dating profile (the photos in particular) and you aren’t seeing what you’d expect in terms of increased likes and matches, it's a good idea to do a reset.
‣ Just deleting the app from your phone does NOT delete your account.
‣ When you delete your account(s), all your account info, matches, and chats will be erased
‣ If you connected any other accounts (Apple ID, Facebook, Instagram, Google, etc.), make sure to disconnect them. It’s wise to double-check from within the settings of each app to be sure.
Hinge has a feature called "Fresh Start," which isn't the game-changer of a full reset but offers some perks:
You will start seeing some of the same people you passed over before, but that feels like a relatively small price to pay for the possibility of people who passed up on YOU before getting to see you again (with fresh photos!) and swiping right this time.
Heads Up:
There is mixed information on how often or how many times you can do a "Fresh Start" (so, be aware that there might be limitations)
1. Head to Settings: Open Hinge, tap on your profile, and hit the gear icon.
2. Choose "Delete or Pause Account": Don’t worry—this won’t actually delete your stuff.
3. Pick any reason for leaving (doesn't matter)
4. Select "Fresh Start": Confirm and reset your Discover feed instantly.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
*This post was updated September 10, 2025.
Seattle isn't the only place to shoot fantastic dating profile photos in Washington! This here is a round-up of some of my favorite dating photography locations in the Bellevue area, just a 10 minute drive from Seattle.
Full disclosure, I’m using the phrase “Bellevue area” loosely here. Here’s a map with some splotches so you know what you’re in for:
Red splotches mean juicy locations for dating app photoshoots! And juicy means that, within a relatively small area, you can capture online dating photography with great variety – different environments, dating photos with date vibes, indoor dating app shots, outdoor dating pics, etc..
Let’s start with dating photography locations in Bellevue proper.
Bellevue Downtown Park has lots of grass, benches all around, and gorgeous city backdrops for dating photos with sweeping views right in the heart of the city. Third Culture Coffee is just across the street and has big windows and leather chairs for cozy coffeeshop dating photos.
If skyscrapers and high-end urban settings are your jam, we could do your online dating photoshoot in Bellevue near the Bravern. A favorite rendezvous spot for coffeeshop dating photos is Story Coffee Bellevue (big windows, classic PNW coffeeshop atmosphere, and parking nearby (I’m a practical woman)).
For cute, small-town vibes I love old Bellevue, along Main street. Gilberts on Main serves up basic breakfast fare and has outdoor seating that is perfect for cafe dating photos.
A little-known treasure of a dating photography spot in Bellevue is Meydenbauer Bay Park. There’s a legit sandy beach (rare in the Pacific Northwest), a beautiful curved dock (and a floating dock that’s usually covered in goose poo but nevermind), and lovely paved walking paths, park benches, and tables. My client Bijan loves cold plunges so he straight-up walked into Lake Washington in the dead of winter at the end of our Bellevue dating profile photoshoot! 🥶
Plus, Bellevue Marina is right there and you can rent Kayaks and paddleboards from the REI boathouse! Rumor has it there’s a house on Lake Washington with a real T-Rex skeleton on full display that can sometimes be spotted through the window from the water (seeing this T-Rex is on my summer kayak creeper bucket list, lol!)
There’s also a newer part of Bellevue that I have yet to properly explore called the Spring District. Bellevue Brewing Company is a perfect spot to snap some date-vibes online dating profile photos.
Mercer Island is just a short drive from Bellevue and, although small and mostly residential, it’s got a couple of real treasures in terms of places to shoot photos for your online dating profile.
First up, my absolute favorite bookstore on the eastside, Island Books. If you’re a big reader and want to show that in your online dating photos, one way to do it is to get a picture of you reading (choose a title you’re ready to talk about! Dating photos with books can be great conversation starters).
Another way to feature reading in, say, one of your Hinge profile photos, is to have a dating photo taken at a bookstore. Plus, a bookstore is a great spot to take a date! So much to talk about as you browse the aisles (and dating photos in settings you might take a date are extra good because they invite matches to imagine being on a date with you!). Island Books on Mercer Island has the perfect mix of nostalgia, and classic rom-com bookstore vibes, trust me you’ll love it.
Another favorite spot for dating photography on Mercer Island is Luther Burbank Park. It’s a huge, gorgeous park with multiple Lake Washington access points. Dreammmyyyy. Plus it has courts for tennis dating photos and pickle-ball dating shots!
If you’re a foodie and love to cook (both super appealing qualities in a lover!), hit up the Metropolitan Market on Mercer Island for some dating photos of you gathering ingredients to make your favorite home-cooked meal.
There are two main things I love about shooting dating app photos in Issaquah: small town aesthetics and allll the outdoorsy vibes, close at hand: mountains, woods, parks, trails, creeks, and Lake Sammamish. Plus I live in Issaquah so I extra love this place. Here are some of my favorite spots for online dating photos in Issaquah:
Front Street is the original main drag through Issaquah and is lined with cute shops and restaurants for dating photos with charming small town vibes and mountains in the background. El 42 Cantina is one of my favorite local watering holes and a great spot for casual dating photos in Issaquah. They have cute outdoor seating (red stools! String lights!) and fantastic margaritas and Mexican food.
For my outdoorsy folks, Issaquah is wonderful for online dating photos because there are woods and mountains just a short drive from Front Street (in fact, you can walk from El 42 Cantina to the Sunset trail head on Tiger Mountain). Park in the little parking lot, throw on your hiking books, and we can get some fabulous hiking dating photos just a little ways up the trail! Squawk Mountain also has some great trails for hiking dating photos in Issaquah.
If parks are more your jam, Confluence Park has rolling lawns, walking paths, willow trees, and lots of spots to hang up your hammock near the creek.
. . .
And there you have it! Ready for your own professional dating photography session?
Don't worry, it's not just you.
One thing most folks know without being told – choosing photos for your online dating profile is HARD. Like, really really hard.
Whether you're using Hinge, Bumble, Match.com, or any of the other dating apps, your online dating profile is a marketing project. Let me say that again:
Your online dating profile is a marketing project.
The product you are marketing happens to be a person, who happens to be you.
Now, right off the bat that’s tricky – marketing is an entire industry, people go to school for that shit! But then add in the fact that the product is…YOU?
The stakes are high (wasting your time on bad matches when you could be falling in love), your expertise level is low (you’re no online marketer), and that’s just the start.
Here’s something obvious but that you may never have thought of....
Guess what’s weird about the version of you that you see in the mirror? It’s a flipped version of what everybody else sees – it’s your mirror image.
If your face isn’t completely symmetrical (most aren’t) you look different in the mirror than you do in person. It might seem subtle but it matters.
A study about profile photo selection was done that showed that people tend to prefer photos of themselves that have been “flipped” to show their mirror image, but when looking at photos of others, people prefer the “actual” image, the way that person looks when face-to-face in real life.
The whole point of your dating profile is to attract * other people * so…this is a problem. As I like to say, "you are not your target audience".
Which brings me to…
This is the tender subject of what I’ll gently refer to as warped self-image. It's that thing where how you think you look does not totally line up with how you actually look.
In my decade+ experience as a photographer (and my many decades as a human), I’ve noticed that just about everybody experiences at least a smidge of this, and some folks have it pretty bad. If you literally hate how you look in almost every photo, you definitely have it.
If you look at a photo of yourself and immediately zero in on all the parts of your appearance that bother you (ugh, my nose is too big, one of my eyes is smaller than the other, my teeth aren’t perfect…), you are not seeing clearly. Because here’s the thing:
Most of us are critical of how we look and can easily slice and dice our appearance into separate parts, but do we do this when we look at other people? When we meet someone fun at a bar or pass a stranger on the street? No, we don’t.
When we look at other people we are naturally drawn toward a warm, genuine smile, body language that feels relaxed and in-the-moment. We respond to someone’s poise and attitude and energy, not the fact that their teeth are slightly crooked or their hair isn’t perfect. In fact, often the things we read as imperfections in ourselves can come across as endearing and relatable to others.
If you are looking at photos of yourself for your online dating profile, and you feel yourself dissecting your appearance, stop, regroup, and remind yourself that nobody else is looking at you this way.
You know yourself better than anybody. And, your own photos are naturally filled with meaning and context – you know when they were taken, how you felt, what was going on around you.
You might be really drawn to a photo of yourself that was taken in a situation where you felt happy and in-the-moment. But does your facial expression and body language (*without having any other context*) effectively communicate happy and in-the-moment? Maybe not!
When strangers look at photos of you all they have to react to is the raw visual material in the photo; they don’t know you, they’re not familiar with your sense of humor or quirks or the story behind the photo.
Most of us find this way of looking at ourselves (objectively, from an unfamiliar stance) difficult if not downright impossible.
[ If you haven’t heard of Photofeeler, it’s worth a look. It’s an attempt to solve this problem by essentially crowd-sourcing profile photo selection ].
Last but not least is the most straight-forward, practical obstacle to choosing your best dating profile photos...
I won’t say much about this other than it’s the boat most people are in, especially if you are old enough to not have grown up with a smartphone and social media.
Unless you’re into instagram or a shameless selfie queen or happen to have a friend or family member who loves taking your picture, most adults (myself included) simply don’t have much in the way of suitable dating photos in their camera roll. So…you lack material.
To sum it up...
If it feels super hard to choose your own online dating profiles, it’s because you are human.
Just by being aware of this fact, and the reasons why, will give you a giant leg-up toward becoming a better judge of your own profile photos.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
When Kyle reached out he told me he was about to move to Japan for work and had semi-recently gotten out of a long term relationship. So he was about to get back into online dating and wanted to be intentional about it. He said,
"I'm ready to meet my future wife."
Kyle sent me nine photos from his phone. Some of them he had used on his Hinge profile, some he had used on Bumble, some were just sitting in his camera roll.
Kyle told me he already had some pretty solid dating photos. He was right!
Here are the dating photos Kyle shared:
To round out his current dating photos and make his Bumble and Hinge profiles kick maximum ass, I made a plan. The kinds of dating photos Kyle needed were:
Curious how a custom dating photoshoot like this actually comes together? Here’s how the High-Signal Half-Day works.
Kyle is a die-hard pour-over coffee fan so starting his dating photoshoot at a coffeeshop was a no-brainer. On his photoshoot planning questionnaire he shared that he lives in Issaquah and generally likes suburban vibes; he also loves being near water and especially around marinas.
We settled on Bellevue for Kyle's dating profile photoshoot location -- not the swanky high-risey part of Bellevue, old Bellevue, along Main St. with those suburban vibes and lots of visual variety -- shops, restaurants, the park, and a marina just a few blocks away!
Kyle's dating photography package included wardrobe styling with a professional stylist.
He wanted a semi-dressy date-night look but couldn't find one he felt great in (he had an old suit jacket that we liked but it didn't work with jeans and a full suit felt too formal). His stylist recommended the brand Rodd & Gunn and Kyle made a quick run to Nordstrom over the weekend to pick up a beautiful, casual blazer to wear with jeans:
Kyle was scheduled to fly to Japan right after his dating photoshoot so we crossed our fingers for good weather (in October...in the PNW...). Miraculously we got it! We had a beautiful sunny day for Kyle's photoshoot and we had a great time exploring Bellevue together (including coffee, date vibes, the marina (we saw turtles!), and reading at the park).
After his dating photo shoot Kyle told me,
I really enjoyed the shoot! I was surprised at how fun it was. Thanks for making it a good experience. I fly out tomorrow morning so thanks for squeezing me into the schedule and making this work out.
Here's a sneak peek at a few of my favorite shots:
After his photoshoot I hand-picked 6 strategic shots for Kyle's new Hinge profile -- choosing the best dating photos and placing them in order for maximum swooning 🥰.
Kyle's new Hinge profile blended 3 of the best dating photos he already had, with 3 new dating photos from his professional dating photo shoot.
Total hubby material! 😍😍😍
. . .
If Kyle's experience sounds like something that could work for you, to take your online dating profile from so-so to SO GOOD, hit me up!
And don't wait until you're not nervous (nerves are normal) -- once you're just a little more excited than you are nervous, now is the time. I'm ready when you are!
There's a popular bit of data that says dating photos with dogs get positive responses on dating apps. Which leads some people (mostly dudes, bless their hearts) to think they *should* have a photo with a dog on their dating profile.
More matches, right?
Well, maybe. But there’s a potential pitfall here that I want to help you avoid.
TLDR:
100% YES your dog should appear in one of your dating profile photos (just one! You don’t need to oversample on your dog; use your other dating app photos to highlight other parts of your life).
Then typically no, you should not have a dog in your dating profile photos. I’ll explain.
Let’s break things down and get some clarity on dog dating photos so you don’t accidentally do something dumb on your dating profile.
Question one is: do you have a dog?
If the answer is no, I would caution you against having a dating photo with a dog. Why? Because people will (reasonably) assume that the dog in the photo is…your dog.
I’ve actually had multiple dating photography clients ask me variations of “should I rent a dog for my dating photoshoot?”.
Definitely do not rent a dog! (is this even a service? I had to google it. YES, you really can rent a dog in Seattle.) Don’t even borrow your friend’s dog for your dating profile photoshoot.
Think about it like this – would it be a good idea to rent a Ferrari (or borrow your buddy’s) to stand next to in one of your dating app photos?
No! Because people will assume that it’s your Ferrari and (this is the important part), they will factor it into the mental picture they’re forming about you and your lifestyle and what it might be like to date you.
If the clues you give about yourself in your dating profile photos are misleading (even if by accident), you might get some good matches and first dates, but it’s likely going to be hard to get second dates. *People HATE being misled, especially on dating apps*.
Ok, circling back to the dog situation.
The simple answer is: people who like dogs.
Most likely, when you match with one of these dog people they will ask about your dog fairly early in your interactions (whether that’s in a message or in person on a first date). Dogs are great conversation starters!
If the dog was borrowed (or rented, lol!) when asked about your dog you will have to reply something like “oh, it’s actually not my dog…” and then:
- It’s kind of a bummer because your match had formed a picture in their mind of that dog being a part of their life when they’re dating you (which they were excited about because they love dogs), and
- You run the risk of looking like the guy who read somewhere that he “should have a photo with a dog” on his dating profile so he could get more matches. Now you look like somebody who is thirsty for matches and also doesn’t think stuff through.
So, for your matches who love dogs, you’re starting off by disappointing them.
But there’s another invisible downside here in the form of the people you *don’t* match with.
Like, what about that beautiful woman with the cat who is looking for a long-term live-in lover? She just swiped left on you because she (again, reasonably) assumed that it was your dog in your dating photo and dogs are a no-go with her cat.
Or what about the babe who loves international travel? She just passed you by because she wants a travel companion and a dog is typically not compatible with that kind of lifestyle.
See what I’m getting at here?
If you DON'T have a dog, having a dog in one of your dating photos will attract people who will assume it’s your dog (and that you have a lifestyle that involves living with a dog). It will also filter out people for whom a dog is a deal-breaker. DOUBLE NEGATIVE 👎🏼👎🏼!
If you DO have a dog, then YES! 100% yes you should show your dog in one of your dating photos. You will attract people who love dogs, and you’ll filter out the ones who don’t. DOUBLE POSITIVE 👍🏼👍🏼!
A couple notes on implementation:
If you really want your dog photo to work for you on your dating profile, choose one that shows you having a moment of genuine connection and interaction with your dog! Pick a photo where not only do you look good, but your dog looks happy and relaxed (a dating photo of you looking attractive next to a stressed out animal is baaaaad. I don't care what kind of animal it is, don't do it).
And it is ok if your dog is the focus of the photo! Just make sure that if your dog it the center of attention you put the photo at the end of your dating profile, after you've already shared some great photos where you are the star.
Alright, let’s wrap it up with a couple of edge cases:
Q: What if my dog died recently, do I have to get rid of the photo on my dating profile of me and my dog?
A: No, as long you’re okay with being asked about the dog and being honest about no longer having him/her in your life. If you’re ok with fielding those kinds of questions I could see it being a positive (you're being honest and vulnerable, sharing your sense of loss, these could be attractive to some potential mates), OR negative (this could be pretty heavy/sad for when you’re first getting to know someone, especially if you’re likely to burst into tears when you talk about it). Your call.
Q: What if it’s not my dog but it’s a dog that I know and am close with.
A: If it’s a dog that is in your life in a consistent way, that you have a relationship with (like, your best friend’s dog or your parent’s dog or a dog you babysit semi-regularly), this is not as bad as just a rando dog. But you’ll still risk missing matches with people for whom living with a dog is a deal breaker. Again, your call.
Q: What if I have a cat?
A: If you're a cat person, the same logic applies to you!
If you live with a cat (and especially if that cat is part of a package deal for anybody who dates you) it will benefit you to show that cat in one of your dating profile photos!
You'll attract babes who also like cats and avoid wasting your time on ones who don't (or who are allergic to cats).
Alright friend! Hopefully this gives you some clarity on dating photos with dog (and cats!). It’s not as simple as “dog photos = more matches on dating apps”, but it is pretty damn simple!
A dating photo with YOUR dog (or cat)? >> 👍🏼 YES, put that puppy on your dating profile!
A dating photo with NOT your dog (or cat)? >> 👎🏼 NO, don't put on your online dating profile.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
In my last post I introduced Tannya, my favorite personal stylist and game-changer for anybody needing help choosing clothes for their online dating photography session (and for their life in general).
I'm a huge fan of Tannya's and basically adopting her onto my previously one-woman professional dating photography dream team. The dozens of clients who have combined Tannya's styling with my professional dating photography have all reported not only ridiculously great results (more matches with people they're excited about dating!), but also a more holistic experience of boosted confidence and positive self image.
To make it a little easier for you to imagine how it might go if you hire Tannya to style you for your online dating photography session, here's a look at how it went for Harsh.
When Harsh and I first spoke about dating photography he confessed that he did not feel great about his wardrobe in general, let alone putting together 9+ killer outfits for his new dating app photos.
I told Harsh what I tell everybody who needs help with their wardrobe-- "don't worry, I know someone who can help!" and then I introduced him to Tannya. I caught up with the two of them after Harsh's photoshoot to get the scoop on the styling process. Here's what they had to say...
Andrea: Harsh, what was the main reason you wanted help shopping? What were you struggling with when it came to your personal style in general and prepping for your dating photography session specifically?
Harsh: Oh, I just didn't know where to begin. Over the years, I had a collected a few pieces of clothing which looked nice at the store, but once I brought them home, I had no idea how to wear them. This caused me to put on the traditional Software Engineer look of wearing an oversized hoodie with washed out jeans. Co-ordinating outfits always felt overwhelming, be it wearing the correct fit, or arranging different pieces together.
These were some of the dating photos Harsh had been using on his Hinge and Bumble profiles before hiring me:
Andrea: Tannya, you told me Harsh was pretty typical in terms of what he had in his closet to start and what wasn't working. Tell me about that.
Tannya: When I work with new clients, I always start in their closet. The shopping process is not about ignoring your past and wiping the slate clean, it’s about learning from your past to make better decisions moving forward. Your closet is key to identifying what your style is right now, and what you need to update to take it to the next level.
With men, there’s usually a similar style story. Their clothing is either way too casual with a lot of old graphic tees, levis jeans and overly worn athletic tennis shoes or they try to dress up way too much with dated button downs that are overflowing on their body and using an old suit jacket as a blazer to pair with jeans.
That sweet spot, the in-between style of knowing how to dress up your casual wear or feel put together for an evening date without wearing a suit is the common problem.
After our initial Zoom call, I met Harsh at his condo in Seattle for an in-person Closet Edit. He had a walk-in closet with a few go-to button downs and a mix of polos and tees. He had some clothes from Armani, Express, and Ralph Lauren but they didn’t really mix together well. Harsh loves color so his casual wear looked like summer clothes with yellows, pinks, and bright blue. In contrast, his evening wear was very dark and mysterious. He really didn't have much he could mix and match.
Harsh also had a total lack of layering pieces (think jackets, blazers, hoodies, etc.) which is important for men to create more depth in their wardrobe and be able to pull together a variety of looks.
Andrea: Ok I have to interject here on the topic of layering. During a dating photoshoot, I work to get photos of my client in as many different outfits as possible so it feels like their dating photos were shot on different days and so we can give off a sense of them as a dynamic, multi-dimensional person.
Layering is clutch during a dating photoshoot because it lets us get what feels like multiple outfits out of the same basic outfit – throwing on a jacket takes just a second and turns one outfit into two! People who incorporate layering into their dating photoshoot wardrobe end up with more variety in their new online dating photos than people who don’t layer.
Ok back to you, Tannya! Harsh needed to step up his layer game...
Tannya: Yes! Layering is a wonderful thing. Harsh did actually have one blazer he never wore because it was an old suit blazer. This is super common– a lot of my male clients hold onto an old suit blazer that they haven’t worn for years. It's too dressy to wear with jeans and more often than not, it's not a great fit.
PSA for the men out there--if you ever interview for a new job again, you’ll want a new modern jacket, shirt, or suit to reflect the times right now and not when you last bought that piece. It’s ok to let go of an expensive suit and get an up to date version when you need it.
Andrea: Love it! Harsh, what was the most helpful thing during this part of the styling experience for you?
Harsh: The whole process of working with Tannya was amazing. During the first Zoom call, it was easy to express my concerns and Tannya's immense experience was obvious not only in her answers to my questions but in the questions she asked me.
When the time came to sort out what was already in my wardrobe, Tannya patiently explained why some pieces needed to go. A lot of clutter in my closet was cleaned up in one afternoon, Clothes which did not fit well. Pants which were too short. Pants which were too square. Colors which did not suit me. Patterns which did nothing for my style. They all went into the donation bin.
Andrea: Ok so first, figure out what's working and purge what's not. Tannya, what happened next?
Tannya: Next came shopping for new items! My shopping list for Harsh looked like this:
Here’s a sneak peek of some of the outfits we put together for Harsh- notice that everything can be mixed and matched for multiple outfits from the same pieces.
Our plan was to build upon the items that were already working in Harsh’s current wardrobe by adding pieces to round out a versatile and super easy-to-wear spring/summer wardrobe. You’d be surprised that you only need about 15 - 20 pieces including shoes to create 30+ unique head-to-toe looks. When I’m shopping for a client I make sure sure everything they purchase:
For Harsh's shopping trip we had two hours together at Bellevue Square. I showed up to the mall an hour before Harsh and put clothing on hold at 4 stores: Nordstrom, Ted Baker, Seattle Thread Company, and Banana Republic. At that point, Harsh showed up and we went to each store where a dressing room was waiting for him with all of the items I had picked out for him. Harsh picked out his favorite pieces at each store and took them home to blend with his existing wardrobe.
Andrea: Harsh, how was the shopping trip for you?
Harsh: I loved how Tannya was able to pick out clothes which fit perfectly no matter which store we were at. My shirt size varies from Medium to Large depending on the brand, and for the most part, she knew which brand's medium and which brand's large would fit me best.
One highlight is that now I have a sports jacket which fits so well and goes with jeans so it's really easy to dress up or dress down throughout the day or night.
Overall, the most amazing thing about the shopping experience was how easy putting together outfits and matching things became. Tannya provided an initial list of outfits, but as time went on, I've been able to mix and match without much thought.
Andrea: I love this--Tannya for the mix-and-match win! 🙌🏻 So, how did you feel wearing your new outfits (during your dating photography session but also in your day-to-day life after the photoshoot)? What's changed in how you feel when you get dressed and go out (whether it's with your friends or on a date or just to grab a bite to eat)?
Harsh: The most amazing part of having the outfits styled to my needs is how my body language has changed. My posture has drastically improved, and has given me motivation to work out more.
It's also amazing that Tannya was able to pick outfits which worked so well for the shoot. I never felt uncomfortable during the process, and Andrea made it feel natural with her conversation style. At one point, I even forgot that there's a camera in front of me.
Andrea: At this point if Tannya were here in person we would be attempting a jumping double high-five, lol! This makes me so happy 🥰
Folks, if you're like Harsh and your wardrobe is getting in the way of you having a kick-ass high-converting set of super authentic, intentional dating profile photos, check out the Level Up Dating Photo Upgrade -- it comes with a virtual style session with one of Tannya's lead stylists.
I'll leave you with a couple sporty shots of Harsh because he's just too cute and handsome and he looks great in workout clothes too. Thanks for sharing your experience Harsh! And for being completely delightful in general 💕
To learn more about Tannya and her process, check out this blog post and head over to her website myclosetedit.com.
Ready to hire my as your online dating photographer?
This post is for folks who need some help figuring out what to wear for their online dating photography session (and maybe just… in general).
Your dating profile photoshoot isn’t *about* your clothes, not by a long stretch. But what you wear will definitely have a big impact on your new online dating photos.
The effect of what you wear in your online dating photos is a lot like the effect of what you wear for an actual date.
The downside: If you show up to a date wearing clothing that doesn’t fit you well or that you don’t feel like yourself in, your date will probably notice because you’ll be giving off subtle (or maybe not so subtle) nonverbal cues that project hesitance and uncertainty (not attractive) rather than confidence and presence (ridiculously attractive). The same thing can happen with your online dating photos – people are amazing at picking up nonverbal signals even from a split-second glance at a photo.
The upside: If your online dating photos show you rocking quality, well-fitted clothes in a range of styles from casual to dressy...
If you're nodding along like “yeah, this all makes sense and sounds true”, good! If you need some help putting it into actual practice, don’t worry— help is here:
Enter Tannya– personal stylist for everyday folks like me and you.
Tannya gets it. Like, really gets it. She has the same ethos as me: we don’t need to transform you to fit some sort of standard or mold–what we’re going to do instead is tease out the authentic you and get you looking and feeling like the best version of yourself for your real, actual life. She’s not about telling you what you “should” wear or educating you about what’s trending or dressing you up in things you wouldn’t actually wear on the daily.
In other words:
Tannya has come to the rescue of so many of my dating photography clients who are struggling with what to wear for their new dating app photos and, now that you mention it, are not stoked about their wardrobe in general (a problem not only for the dating photography session but also when it comes time to go on dates). They know they need some new clothes, but they don’t know what to buy and aren’t excited about shopping. Now that they’ve got a dating photoshoot on the calendar, it’s the perfect nudge to finally update their wardrobe.
It was actually one of my dating photography clients who originally introduced me to Tannya (shoutout to Hrik!).
During his online dating photoshoot Hrik just kept pulling out one bangin' outfit after another (Hrik is only 20 so this level of style and swagger was really notable). The pivotal moment went something like this
Me to Hrik after about the 3rd killer outfit: “Damn, Hrik, every outfit you put on is fresh AF. Your style game is on POINT!”
Hrik: "Thanks, it’s basically all new clothes! I hired this person Tannya to shop for me.”
Me: “OMG Tannya-who?! I NEED TO KNOW HER!”
I reached out to Tannya that same afternoon and have pretty much been obsessed ever since. At this point, not only have I hired Tannya for myself, my dear friend, and my partner, I’ve also referred dozens of my dating photography clients to her and every damn one shows up to their dating photoshoot looking fantastic, and also looking like they’re wearing clothes they’ve always owned (in other words, everybody looks relaxed authentic and not at all like somebody else dressed them).
Tannya doesn’t have one set style or or narrow wheelhouse–she can style ANYBODY (whether your style has some urban hip-hop flavors like Hrik’s, or whether you’ve got more of a classic gentleman or feminine girl-next door situation style).
She’s not about formulas or hacks (neither am I). She’s about what’s real, what’s practical, and what’s authentically YOU.
If you’re curious about working with Tannya check out her website myclosetedit.com and schedule your Closet Edit asap! You can thank me later 😘
For more tips on dating photography wardrobe check out these other posts:
What to wear in your dating profile photos and, Why dress up for dating photos
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
[This post is written for the fellas but it can apply to ladies as well]
If you're thinking about putting some thought and intention into upgrading your dating profile photos, wardrobe will definitely come into play. In fact one of the questions I get most often from people hiring me to be their dating photographer is "what should I wear?".
For general tips on dating photo wardrobe, check out What to Wear in Your Dating Profile Photos.
But this post isn’t about what to wear for dating photos in general; it’s specifically about why you should dress up for at least one of the photos in your dating profile.
Let’s start with the premise that “dressed up” is a spectrum. I’m gonna go ahead and put TUXEDO at the far end of that spectrum for men– maximum dressed up. Relax, I’m not asking you to wear a tuxedo for your dating photos, lol! Although it might not be a bad idea, but we’ll get to that.
On the other end of the spectrum…well, that’s a little more subject to personal interpretation. Depending on where you grew up and your current budget and lifestyle, the other end of the “dressed up” spectrum could very well be anything that’s not sweatpants. I’m kidding but also kind of not kidding #PNWstyle
But let’s get a little more clear. When I say I want you to choose at least one outfit that is “dressed up” for your new dating profile photos, I mean I want you to choose something that you could respectably wear into an expensive restaurant or as a guest at a semi-formal wedding. At the very least, something that wouldn’t embarrass your mom or your date, but ideally something you look and feel really handsome and put-together in.
Because here’s the thing:
Even the chillest, most casual woman doesn’t want to show up to a nice event with a scrub as her date.
It’s totally okay if 99% of the time you wear jeans and a T-shirt. Notice I did not say sweatpants and a T shirt? In my opinion, sweatpants should be reserved for home and the gym but that can be a topic for another conversation (and yes I’m aware they make “fancy” sweatpants now, in fact I own some myself) But I digress.
It’s okay if 99% of the time you dress super casually. It’s even okay if you wear casual clothes in most of your dating photos (although I don’t advise it– hitting multiple points along the dressed-up spectrum is a better strategy–you’ll come across as more multi-dimensional).
However casually you typically dress, I strongly advise that one of the outfits you wear in your dating profile photos is at the far end of *your* dressed-up spectrum.
If, when you dig deep, the best you can muster is jeans and a polo shirt– hit it! That’s better than nothing. But if you can take it a step further and upgrade to a well-fitted button-down shirt with a collar–even better!
Things start getting really good when you take that polo or button-down collared shirt up another notch and pair it with a jacket, whether that's a blazer or sport coat, a nice wool coat, etc.
In fact, there is one recipe that women across the board seem to love on men (and it's the reason tuxedos have been so iconic for so many generations):
Something about the contrast of the light and dark, and the structure of the jacket just…works. Its classic, timeless, masculine. Women dig it. It could be a full-on matching suit but it could also be slacks or dark denim and that combo up top, even a white T-shirt + blazer. You can play with the details but the light/white shirt + dark tailored jacket is always good.
I’ve even heard it said that a (well-tailored) suit is like lingerie for a man. Mmmhmm.
Let me say that part again for the folks in the back– a suit is a slam dunk but it needs to be WELL TAILORED (this means–it fits you just right). Matter of fact, all of the clothes you wear in your dating profile photos should fit you just right.
Bottom line: don’t make women guess whether you clean up well when the occasion calls for it; *show* them with at least one dating profile photo where you’re looking dressy and polished.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
If you do some searching you can find a lot of different answers and opinions on the questions of whether and when to include a group photo in your online dating profile. You know, a photo of you and your buddies, an “everybody get together for a pic!” pic.
I’ve even heard it called a “social proof” dating photo–I guess the presumption being that potential dating app matches need cold hard visual evidence that you…have friends?
I can see some logic to this I guess, since having at least one friend is important to overall health and longevity and also just part of a good life. But I also know that a dating profile is not meant to be a comprehensive survey of a person (how could it be?) and that some things can (and should) be left to assumption, interpretation, and the first date.
For example, if your Hinge profile is filled with dating photos of you looking healthy, engaging, and active, it’s probably safe to assume you have at least a couple of friends.
I also get that you might want to throw a group photo in your dating profile because it’s one of the only decent photos you have of yourself. If you’re sifting through your camera roll for something, anything to throw on your dating profile, I’m talking to you.
My goal here is not to tell you that you should or shouldn't have a group photo on your dating app, but rather give you criteria so you can evaluate particular group photos and avoid accidentally putting one on your dating profile that ends up working against you.
(swap in the gender pronouns that make sense for you & the people you like to date)
1. It is obvious at-a-glance which person in the photo is you AND
2. You are the most attractive man in the photo AND
3. There is not a woman in the photo who appears as though she may be your (ex) girlfriend
Here's the breakdown...
If I'm looking at a group photo on your dating profile and I can’t tell within a split second which person is you; if I have to scan each individual face like, “is that him…?” I’m annoyed.
My time (and the time of anybody worth your time) is precious and you just made me waste several seconds “where’s Waldo-ing” one of your dating profiles photos.
Here’s the scenario– I’m a straight woman looking at your (straight male) dating profile. There's a shot on there of you and a few buddies and one of them is… hella fine.
Only problem is–it’s not you. It’s your hot friend Carl.
Now, for most people (especially women), looks aren’t the most important quality when evaluating a potential partner but they are meaningful. You don’t want to give potential matches an unfavorable side-by-side of you with someone (or multiple someones) who are more attractive than you.
Imagine I’m selling you a new Honda (I love Hondas and the one I’m selling you is a good one). I wouldn’t show you a picture of the Honda parked right next to a Ferrari. That just doesn’t make any sense. You might really love that Honda but now I’ve reminded you super directly that the Ferrari exists, is better than the Honda on some important metrics, and is not available to you. It just introduces an unnecessary and unhelpful variable into the scenario.
(for the record I’m not comparing people to cars but sometimes a good analogy is in order to make a point, lol!)
Alright here’s another scenario and it’s not a good one– I’m a straight female looking at your dating profile and you’ve got a group shot on there and as I’m looking at the photo it kiiiiiinda seems like that one woman with the brown hair is (or was) your girlfriend.
She may seem a little bit extra cozy with you in the photo, maybe you’ve actually got your arm around her (no matter that your other arm is around Carl), it could even be the subtle way she’s looking at you.
People have spidey-senses for this kind of thing. Their impression may not be correct but you still don’t want to activate those spidey senses because now instead of vibing on how cute you are and how you might be as my boyfriend, there’s a part of my mind that’s wondering about your previous relationship and/or whether you’re not being honest about being single etc.
To recap: only include a group photo on your dating profile if it meets ALL THREE of these criteria:
1. it is obvious at-a-glance which person in the photo is you AND
2. you are the most attractive man in the photo AND
3. there is not a woman in the photo who appears as though she may be your (ex) girlfriend
I get that this may cut way down on the number of eligible group photos you have but I promise you, it would be better to have one less photo than an annoying, distracting, or confusing group photo.
For more tips on keeping your dating profile free of photos that could be hurting your chances, check out my post on 5 photos to remove from your dating profile ASAP
And if you find you’re just not able to rustle up enough decent photos of yourself to put together a dating profile without including a net-negative group shot, maybe it’s time to consider hiring a dating photographer.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
Black and white photos have that timeless, classic look that is hard not to love. But is adding one to your dating profile actually a good idea?
Here are 3 reasons the answer might be “yes”.
Quick disclaimer: if your dating profile is missing the essentials — a strong headshot, clear full-body photo, genuine smile, and a photo that shows what you’re actually into — no filter will save it. (If you're not familiar with the essentials — Start here)
According to a Hinge report, black and white photos are 106% more likely to receive a like — yet they make up only 3% of photos on dating apps.
On swipe-heavy apps, visual contrast matters. When most profiles are full color, a black and white image stands out instantly.
Important: One BW photo is the sweet spot. More ≠ better.
The issue is usually more fundamental than ,color grading.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies your dominant photo failure mode and shows you what to fix first.
👉 Take the free Dating Photo Audit
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If there’s something distracting in the background of an otherwise good dating photo (a bright recycle bin, bold signage, etc.), converting it to black and white can reduce that visual competition.
You don’t want background elements stealing attention from you. Bright colors draw the eye first. Removing color simplifies the image and helps keep focus where it belongs.
Sometimes a photo that feels borderline usable in color becomes clean and strong in black and white.
Hey — while you're fine-tuning your dating photos, make sure to remove these 5 photos from your dating profile!
Ideally, you’re wearing different outfits in each of your dating profile photos. Along with varied settings, changing your clothes shows range and makes it easy for your ideal matches to imagine spending time with you in different contexts.
But sometimes, as luck would have it, you end up with multiple great photos in the same outfit — maybe from the same event or photoshoot. If this happens, converting one to black and white can make the images feel distinct enough to include both.
Even if one is black and white, don’t place photos in the same outfit back-to-back on your dating profile.
One final reason to include black and white dating photos on your profile (which isn’t really a reason so much as it is permission) — just because you like it.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
If you’ve never gotten any direct feedback on your dating profile photos it can be hard to know which photos are working for you and which photos are working against you.
For many people, finding enough good photos of themselves to put together a decent dating profile is a real challenge (if it were easy, professional dating photography wouldn’t be a thing).
This leads a lot of folks to go digging through their camera roll looking for something (anything!) to put on their dating profile. And this is how people end up throwing photos on dating apps that really shouldn’t have made the cut.
Every photo on your dating profile should be helping you meet people you'd be excited about dating. If it's doing that job, it's costing you matches and needs to go.
👉 Take the free Dating Photo Audit
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
This is a quick and dirty list of the kinds of photos that are most likely working against you on dating apps. I suggest you nix them from your dating profile right away.
Look at your dating profile pics with a critical eye and delete the following:
Maybe you look older now or have less hair or more hair or are more fit or heavier or bearded or… the point is, you look different now.
People HATE when a first date shows up looking different than they do in photos. You’ve started off by failing to meet expectations (aka violating trust) and if the person is willing to consider a second date with you (they’re probably not), you’re digging out of a hole right from the start.
“But wait!”, you say, “I have some current photos in my profile also!” Okay--so now you’re asking people to try and guess which photos are *current* you? Nah. Making people work before they’ve even met you and sowing doubts about what you actually look like is not good no matter how you slice it.
Only use photos on your dating profile that look like you right now.
Disinterested, unwell, awkward, uncomfortable, pompous, guarded, inauthentic.... these are all things that can be inferred from facial expressions and body language and all are turnoffs.
Photos that make it onto your dating profile need to show you looking the kinds of ways that are universally attractive: engaged, healthy, well-rested, vivacious, interested, fit, etc..
If the energy and attitude you are exuding in a photo is not unequivocally positive, do not use it on your dating profile.
Certain camera angles can be really unflattering, particularly shooting up from below someone and shooting down from above someone. If the angle is severe enough you can even get distortion--if your head or your lower body look too big or too small, you've probably got distortion.
Even the most attractive people can look like a goober from the wrong angle.
More often than not, group photos end up being a net negative on apps like Hinge & Bumble (for very predictable reasons).
DROP A GROUP PHOTO IF:
— If it’s hard to tell which person is you (that’s just annoying)
— If you’re a dude, nix any group photos that include other dudes who are equally or more attractive than you (same thing but vice versa for ladies)
— If you’re straight, nix any photos of you with attractive members of the opposite sex (think of it like this--if you’re a straight guy hanging out at a bar with a beautiful woman or two, you’re not sending out “I’m available” signals to other women)
👉🏻 for more on group photos, read: 3 rules for group photos on dating profiles
Whatever kind of mask it is, if it covers part of your face, a photo of you wearing a mask is wasted dating profile real estate.
As we all discovered during the pandemic, you cannot tell what a person looks like when they’re wearing a mask. And let’s be real here--the main purpose of your dating profile photos is to show people what you look like and give them a glimpse into your personality.
Most of the time, mask photos on dating profiles are deeply unsatisfying.
Unless you are attempting to make a political / social statement *which you feel is most effectively made specifically as a photo* don't waste dating profile photo real estate on a photo of you wearing a mask.
Ditch the following photos from your dating profiles:
Are you all-in on a DIY dating photo revamp? A great next read is: 4 photos everyone needs in their dating profile.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
I had the pleasure of meeting Rick just before Fathers Day which felt extra special because Rick is a single dad entering the dating game for the first time since the end of his marriage.
I liked Rick from the very start.
He's kind, he's disarmingly relaxed and funny, and he was up-front with me from our very first conversation that this (not just hiring a dating photographer but *dating*) felt pretty out-on-a-limb for him.
Rick had taken the last couple years to focus on being a dad and creating a stable and loving environment for his kids post-divorce. Plus, he wanted some time to work on himself and get re-oriented after the end of a marriage (this is a step that is so easy to skip but so worth it, as someone who has been through a painful divorce myself).
When Rick and I spoke on the phone, first we talked through some of the nerves and uncertainty--Rick wasn't sure he was ready to start dating yet but he knew when he was ready he'd need better photos. We agreed that having new dating profile photos didn't mean he had to immediately get on dating apps, it just meant he could when he was ready.
When it felt clear to both of us that this was a good fit--that my way of approaching dating photography lined up well with Rick's values and goals, we got to work planning his shoot.
We decided to do most of Rick's dating profile photography session within walking distance of his home.
Photoshoot Location: Bellevue + Meydenbauer Bay Park
Curious about doing a dating photoshoot of your own?
📸 Check out How a Photoshoot with Dating Photo Co works
Here's what Rick had to say about his dating profile photography experience about a month after his photo session...
Andrea: What made you decide to hire a professional dating profile photographer?
Rick: I separated from my ex wife 3 years ago. Since then I have been focusing on myself and my kids. When I started to seriously look for a relationship, I didn't have any good photos to use for a dating profile--the only photos I had were with my kids. I know nothing about taking photos of myself, so the only option was to find help.
Andrea: Yeah...that's a tough one and a common situation for single dads--no pics without the kiddos. Ok so, what was it about me that made you trust me to be your dating photographer?
Rick: I looked at several professional photographers and out of many, you were the most authentic, trustable and therefore obvious choice. It's probably your middle school yearbook photos, or your big smile, or the witty way you write, or maybe the quality of your portfolio. Easy choice!
Andrea: Lol! Those middle school pics though. Who knew they'd eventually be working in my favor?! And now I'm blushing....
Andrea: Alright so, fast-forward to your dating photoshoot. What was it like for you?
Rick: Honestly it felt more like hanging out with a good friend. The conversation never stopped during the entire session.
It was actually very relaxing.
Andrea: Lol, like I said! Nobody quite believes me when I say the photoshoot will be fun and chill and like hanging with a friend. [folks, listen to Rick! I promise getting your picture taken doesn't have to be painful or awkward]
I need to pause here for another gold-star moment:
Rick showed up to his photo session with his clothes more neatly organized than anyone I've ever worked with. I was so thrilled when he opened his trunk (this makes the shoot run so much more smoothly) I just kept muttering "bless your heart!". I even had to take a picture:
How did you feel when you first opened your gallery and saw your new dating profile photos?
Rick: At first it was a bit weird to look at such a polished and well-put-together version of me and I felt vulnerable.
The more I looked at the photos though, the more comfortable I got and I appreciate how handsome you made me look.
Andrea: You look HANDSOME AF, Rick! I told you during the shoot that you are ridiculously handsome, I'm glad that now you can see what I was talking about, lol!
Ok I'm dying to hear, especially since I know this was your first time using dating apps. What happened when you created a dating profile using your new pics?
Rick: As soon as I went live with my online dating profile equipped with your pictures, I became the proverbial chick magnet.
Here are quotes from a couple of pretty ladies:
>>>"Hello handsome Rick, I like your professional photos. Your dad joke made me smile."
>>>"You are a really handsome guy!"
Andrea: AMEN to that! Those are some smart ladies. I love that you got immediate results and I'm also not at all surprised. You're a total catch Rick, and I'm so thrilled that your new dating profile photos are working for you.
Last question--any advice for other guys who are thinking about hiring me to shoot their online dating photos?
Rick: The search is over my friend. What are you waiting for?
Hey, he said it! What are you waiting for? Let's fix up your dating photos.
Note from Rick:
Thanks to your wonderful pictures you took of me, I met this wonderful cutie (Nicole) and we’ve been together for 8 months now! We are seriously looking at a future together.
P.S. Ever wondered what women think of professional online dating photos? Wonder no more!
I don't throw the term guru around lightly. This woman is the REAL DEAL.
If you haven't heard of Logan Ury, you can thank me later.
Behavioral scientist turned dating coach, Logan's content is the best I've encountered about navigating the modern dating landscape.
I first heard of Logan from my client Sarah, who heard her interviewed about her book:
"How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love".
Since then I've worked my way through loads of her content and find her approach and advice to be the most lovely balance of
— scientifically compelling (she's all about that data)
— good common sense wisdom
— tough love
And I find it all so very...reassuring.
I joined Logan's email list (weekly dating and relationship advice delivered to your inbox!) and suggest you do the same.
And if you end up loving her you and need more 1-on-1 help, you can hire Logan for everything from dating coaching to a 90-minute (relationship) decision-making convo, to breakup planning << I'm not making this up!
Alright, I'm done fan-girling. Logan is the bomb. If you don't know, now you know.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
Phil reached out to me after the end of a long term relationship. He had profiles on a couple of dating apps but they weren't turning up many matches. So, he did some introspecting (I love this about Phil, he's super curious and self-aware), and decided the problem wasn't him, it was his dating profile pictures. When he took a critical look at his dating app photos he realized "my photos suck", lol!
Phil hired me to be his dating photographer well before he had clarity on exactly how he wanted to present himself in the dating world. He knew he needed better dating profile photos, and he needed someone to help him sort out what that meant for him--what that would look like. So we rolled up our sleeves and started scheming.
A long-ish phone call and several emails later it was clear to me that Phil is a ridiculously interesting, complex and multi-passionate guy. We had LOTS to work with but needed focus. Physicians assistant by day, NYC in his blood, avid climber, parkour enthusiast, playful with his wardrobe, theatre nerd... and the list goes on.
As Phil and I got to know each other a plan for his photoshoot emerged. We crafted a dating photo session custom-tailored to show him off in his favorite types of environments, doing some of things that he loves most.
Photoshoot Location: Capitol Hill + Seattle Bouldering Project
We started Phil's dating photo shoot at Capitol Coffee Works and did some last-minute wardrobe sorting in the back of his car (this outfit will be second, same pair of pants, then we'll switch to the jeans and work our way through these three shirts, etc..)
We kept ourselves busy exploring Capitol Hill for the first 3-ish hours (near Neumos, Chophouse Row, around Cal Anderson Park, on Broadway). Phil feels most at home and most himself in NYC so we were drawn to places with gritty urban vibes-- alleys, entries and hidden nooks bursting with color, texture, and graffiti.
Then we hopped in the car and made the 10-ish minute drive to the Seattle Bouldering Project on Poplar so Phil could show off some of his climbing prowess. The moment he put his climbing shoes on it was clear that this man *loves* to climb. He turned into a kid in a candy shop!
Curious how a dating photoshoot like Phil's comes together?
📸 Check out How a Photoshoot with Dating Photo Co works
The sun was out for us, there was never a dull moment in the conversation, and the shoot was just really really FUN.
I caught up with Phil about a week after delivering his new dating photos. Here's what he had to say...
Andrea: Why did you decide to hire a professional dating photographer?
Phil: I'm recently single and when I decided to jump back into the dating world I realized I didn’t have recent pictures of myself. I wanted photos for my dating profiles that really captured who I am, my interests, style and are an accurate reflection of who I am.
Andrea: Dude, that's a situation I hear from a lot of my clients--newly single and all of your recent photos have your ex in them. Ok so, what made you decide to hire me in particular as your dating photographer?
Phil: Well, I found you through a google search. The minute I looked through your website and your portfolio I knew you were the dating photographer for me. Man, your portfolio is amazing!
It was clear you're an incredibly talented photographer; I knew you could capture my personality and make the pics aesthetically awesome at the same time. Plus...you just seemed cool!
Andrea: Aw shucks, thank you! This feels like fishing for compliments but fuckit, go on. So, what was the process like, leading up to your dating photo session?
Phil: The process was so much fun and way more relaxing than I thought it would be! In the beginning, we had several phone conversations where we talked about my life, my interests, and what I wanted to convey with my dating pictures.
I wanted help picking the best outfits to wear for my dating photos so we did a Zoom style session before the shoot - you have a terrific eye and great fashion sense and I felt really great about the outfits we put together.
I appreciated that you made sure I understood you workflow and the schedule we’d follow on shoot day so I knew what to expect.
By the time the photo shoot happened, we had been talking for more than a month - it felt like you knew me so well by that point that the quality of the pictures was a foregone conclusion. I knew you would capture me in the best way possible.
Andrea: What was the shoot itself like / how did you feel while I was taking your picture?
Phil: The shoot itself was such a blast! It was like a hilariously awesome first date.
From the minute we met you made me feel totally at ease and I was laughing and smiling pretty much the whole time.
All of the shooting locations were planned perfectly with great lighting and interesting backgrounds. You also knew exactly how to handle outfit changes in a way that allowed us to maximize the time spent taking pics.
For being a guy who is a bit shy about having his picture taken, you put me totally at ease - I never felt awkward at all.
We shot on Capitol Hill, which is my old neighborhood, and you let me take the lead, showing you some of my favorite spots there, while also making sure we stayed on schedule.
And, you made sure my own creativity and fun side came out: you had ideas, but then let me run on my own too. I love rock climbing and parkour, so when I saw a stairway and some railings to play on, I started climbing and we ended up getting some fantastic action shots!
From start to finish, it was clear that you were all about making sure the whole shoot is spontaneous, natural and authentic.
Honestly...you made me feel like a rockstar the entire time.
Andrea: Fuck YES dude! You *looked* like a rock star. So, fast forward about a week--when you got your gallery and saw your new dating photos for the first time, what was your reaction?
Phil: Seeing the pictures for the first time...WOW. I was speechless.
The first picture I saw was the one that I ended using as my main profile picture.
I think it’s the most flattering picture anybody has ever taken of me.
I just look so...cool...in it.
I loved that you put together a top 12 and top 25 list of my best pictures, and almost without exception I agreed with your choices!
Seeing pics of me that are flattering is a huge confidence booster, which is something I didn’t expect to experience when we started the process.
Andrea: omg right?! A great picture of yourself can be a gigantic ego boost, I've experienced it myself!
Alright, million dollar question--What has happened since your updated your dating profiles with your new pics?
Phil: Here’s where the results speak for themselves!
I made a brand new dating profile - In a little less than a week I’ve gotten 70+ matches! Only a few of these were initiated by me.
You sent me the pictures in the early afternoon and I went on my first date that same night! My dating calendar has never been so full!
The difference is night and day between previous profiles and my current one - your pictures have made meeting new matches almost effortless. This investment has been worth every penny and then some.
Andrea: What would you say to other guys who are considering hiring me as their dating photographer?
Phil: Andrea is the shit. Period.
An incredibly talented photographer. Equally as important, though:
she knows exactly how to capture you in a way that portrays the real you - the you that you want to show to the dating world.
Her biggest goal is to make sure you’re happy with the process and the end results and you feel great throughout the whole experience. If you’re considering hiring her...do it. You won’t regret your decision.
Andrea: Well goddamn! Now you've got me blushing! Thank you for your kind words, Phil and for sharing your experience. You were a total delight to shoot with and just a gem of a person.
. . .
Wanna be like Phil and level up your online dating game with intentional dating profile photography? I'm ready when you are!
Alright, this post is mostly for the fellas and it’s pretty straightforward.
If you are a man meeting women on dating apps:
Why? Because as a matter of safety and common sense, almost all women will cross-reference you on at least one other social media platform before agreeing to meet up with you in person.
We wanna know--are you a real person? Do the things you say about yourself on your dating profile line up with other things we can find about you on the internet?
At minimum women want reassurance that you’re unlikely to be a serial killer. But even better, we’re looking for more pieces of your puzzle, more reasons to like you, and more clues to help us feel out whether we might be a good fit for each other.
So, if you’re revamping your online dating profile to attract higher quality matches by, say, hiring a professional dating photographer, it’s worthwhile to take a critical look at your photos on all social media.
For women in the 25-45 age range cross-referencing men on dating apps, LinkedIn is KING.
This surprises some guys but think of it like this:
If I’m a woman in my thirties, I want a guy who is financially stable.
I may not want someone to provide for me financially but I sure as hell want confidence that you can and do reliably provide for yourself. Ideally you have built or are currently building a strong career doing something that you love and are good at.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s no way to tell a person’s financial situation from social media but you can get some clues and the best place to find those types of clues is on LinkedIn.
If a college degree is important to me I can see when and where you went to school. If work history matters to me I can see where you’ve worked and for how long.
And on an even more primal level, women will scope out your LinkedIn profile pic and see how it lines up with what you're saying and showing in your online dating profile.
Is your LinkedIn photo current? Are you appropriately dressed?
SO. If you’re going to the trouble of hiring a professional dating photographer because you’re intent on improving your odds of meeting someone really special: update your LinkedIn photo while you’re at it.
It’s easy: when you hire me as your dating profile photographer, I’ll ask you whether you need a LinkedIn headshot update while we’re at it.
If you do, we’ll make sure what you wear for your dating photography session includes an outfit that's perfect for your professional headshots and we’ll knock out a new LinkedIn profile photo while we shoot your new dating pics.
Two birds, one stone!
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
Sarah began looking for a dating profile photographer after attending a women's retreat and cracking open a new chapter of her life amidst a pandemic. She wanted her dating photos to more accurately reflect who she is now, not who she was. After a chat on the phone I knew Sarah and I were kindred spirits and we began cooking up plans for a dating photo session that would feature Sarah doing some of the things she loves most (like yoga and hiking).
For Sarah's dating photoshoot we met up at Uptown Espresso and started our adventure just a few blocks from Sarah's house in West Seattle. After exploring the shops and alleys along California Ave for a bit we headed down to Alki for some summer vibes and yoga on the beach action. We wrapped up Sarah's day of dating profile photography at the beautiful Schmitz Preserve.
It was February so it was cold but other than that we got the most amazing weather for Sarah's new dating photos--blue skies and sun all the way!
Curious about working with me on a dating photoshoot of your own? Here's how I approach dating photography for women.
This is what Sarah had to say a couple weeks after receiving her new dating profile photos...
Andrea: What made you decide to hire a professional dating photographer?
Sarah: I had decided I wanted to make finding a partner a priority in my life, and then the pandemic happened. It was several months before I felt like I had the bandwidth to put up a dating profile. I was on a dating app in the fall and met some nice guys online the first time around. Even though all of my dating photos had been taken within the past two years, almost all of them were from before the pandemic. I took a break from the apps over the holidays, and then decided in 2021 that I was going to give online dating a shot again. I wanted to invest in dating profile photos that showed me looking like the best version of my current self.
Andrea: What made you choose me as your dating photographer?
Sarah: I got good vibes from what I read on your website and was very impressed with the photos that I saw! The examples of “before” and “after” photos helped me feel confident that your goal was to help people look like the best version of their true self. I even saw a guy I had matched with in your portfolio! Even though he and I hadn’t gone beyond messaging on the dating app, I remembered him because he was kind and direct in his communication. I figured that was a good sign!
Andrea: OMG I love that you matched with one of my former dating photo clients--what a small world! So, once you hired me for dating profile photography, how did you feel? What were you nervous about before the photo shoot?
Sarah: I really don’t like being photographed, and I have never felt particularly photogenic, so I spent a fair amount of time getting in the right mindset for the experience. I made sure I was being extra kind to myself/diligent about self-care in the days leading up to the shoot so that I would look and feel my best. I was hoping that I would at least get enough photos to put up a dating profile (I ended up with way more than enough). I was also nervous that my outfits would not photograph well. I decided to add a Zoom Style Consult to my session and I’m so glad I did! Spending an hour with you on Zoom really helped me organize my outfits, and it also helped break the ice with you and calm some of my nerves before the shoot. I have had multiple friends express surprise that my photos were taken on the same day – that’s how efficient we were with outfit changes.
Andrea: Oh totally--I like the Zoom Style Consults for those same reasons! By the time we meet up for your dating photo session it feels like we already know each other. Ok so once we met up and started shooting your new dating profile photos...how did you feel?
Sarah: It felt great to have a reason to dress up! I’ve spent so much of the last year wearing scrubs at work or yoga pants when not at work. I also loved how encouraging you were – you seemed happy with how the shoot was going, which helped me relax. I felt like I could trust you with the process. This is clearly something you are an expert in. You were open to suggestions and ideas I had, but I felt very comfortable letting you run the show – this is your wheelhouse.
Andrea: Girl...I LOVED how the shoot was going! I was having so much fun with you! And I'm so glad you trusted me as your dating photographer. So, fast forward about a week and you receive your dating profile photo gallery. How did you feel when you first saw your pics?
Sarah: I was super impressed with the quality of the photos, and so were my family and friends who saw them.
In some ways it was startling to see photos of myself after a year of mostly selfies and wearing a mask. My hair color has even changed. But this was exactly why I wanted these photos – this is how I look now, and it’s helped me to love and accept myself exactly the way I am.
My goal was to have enough photos to put up on a dating profile, and we more than accomplished that goal.
Andrea: YES YES YES! This makes me so happy. And I can't resist asking...What has happened for you since your dating photo shoot? How do you feel as you reflect on the experience?
Sarah: It’s been such a game changer. My profile has gotten a lot of “likes.” I have the fortunate problem of having to pace myself with app conversations and dates (there are too many to keep up with!).
It's not easy navigating dating in general, let alone during a pandemic, so it feels fantastic to have recent photos that accurately depict who I am and what my lifestyle is like. I also think that feeling good about how I look on my profile positively impacts the way I show up in my interactions with matches.
I am so grateful that I found you Andrea! I’m very satisfied with my decision to hire you as my dating profile photographer. I don’t even feel attached to needing to meet someone on a dating app for this experience to have been “worth it” for me. This was an investment in myself. Plus, our conversation during the photo shoot helped me feel more excited about getting back out there and dating. Thank you so much for making this an amazing experience from start to finish!
Andrea: You're so very welcome, Sarah! I'm not at all surprised that you're being bombarded by matches--you're a total babe! For me, one of the most magnetic qualities about so many of your photos is how grounded and in-the-moment you look; just totally effortless and radiant inside and out.
It was a total delight to be your dating profile photographer and I wish you all the best as your adventures in dating and life continue to evolve.
. . .
Does having photos that accurately capture who you are at this moment in time sound like the kind of investment you're ready for? Maybe for online dating apps and maybe just for...yourself? If so, I'd love to hear from you.
If you're considering investing in professional dating profile photography, it's not a bad idea to take a good hard look at your wardrobe.
Do you feel good in your clothes? Does what you've been wearing lately fit you well and reflect who you are right now and where you're currently at in your life?
Good dating profile photos tell a story of who you are as a person and what it might be like to date you. What's your attitude and vibe? What's your lifestyle like?
Choosing what to wear for your online dating photos is an integral part of telling that story.
There's no one right answer when it comes to personal style, but there are some good rules of thumb and guiding principals.
I sat down with Pamela from Michael Bruce Image Consulting to get some tips for men on sorting out their personal style for dating profile pics. Pamela and her team help people find their authentic, confident, stylish self in an organized, efficient and fun way.
Read our conversation below...
Generally, people hear the words stylist and they do think in terms of helping celebrities get ready for red carpet events, and it’s not something that “regular people” do or need.
As image consultations we have helped thousands of people figure out their style and elevate their appearance for all manner of reasons. It could be anything from life transitions, looking for a job or promotion, or having been promoted and needing to dress for the role, or simply feeling stuck with their style choices.
Everyone deserves to feel fantastic and personal style really does help, personal stylist and image consultants can make that goal easy and efficient.
We take a slightly holistic approach to helping individuals with their style, we want to get to know our clients before we help them elevate their style. We strive to help everyday people find their authentic style, style that works with who they are (personality), how they live and what their goals are.
Our first step is always to meet for a style consultation to address style challenges and goals. We come up with a vision and a plan to get the results they want, within a budget that they are comfortable with.
Getting stuck in a style rut and clinging to what is familiar is a common style misstep. This usually comes about because people aren’t really sure what works for them, or they simply don't like to shop so avoid trying something new and stick with what they already know.
Likewise, wearing clothing that is too big is another area where many men's wardrobes fall short. Quite often people assume they are one size and automatically purchase all their clothes in that size, without actually considering how that particular item fits their body.
Jeans are very commonly ill-fitting on men. For the most part they tend to be too long, or baggy in the backside area, and quite often are ill-fitting in both areas. Also, length can be an issue; having too much fabric at the bottom of the jean leg leads to the jeans looking big in the knee.
Denim these days has so much stretch in it that buying a jean that feel loose or comfortable when first tried on can lead to a false fit. Once a pair of jeans has been worn for a fairly short period of time the fibers and elastin in the jeans start to give and they can become overly loose. If you are purchasing jeans with any amount of stretch in them, you want to make sure they feel a little snug at the offset.
It's time to let a particular item of clothing go if:
And remember you can always call an expert to help you put together great outfits 🙂
Need some help with your style game so you look hella fine in your new dating photos (and on all those dates you're about to go on)? Pamela could be your gal!Check out Michael Bruce Image Consulting.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
I met Blaine through my client Trevor. In fact, Trevor hired Blaine before he hired me--she's the one who told him he needed to hire a professional dating photographer ASAP. Naturally, I was curious about her so I reached out.
Blaine helps high-achieving men transform their dating lives by being their best selves. She developed her proprietary methodology, the 5Es, through years of helping guys from diverse backgrounds dramatically improve their outcomes with women.
I caught up with Blaine to learn about some of the most common challenges men face with online dating and how she helps them improve their dating lives without playing any games. I love her approach.
Read our conversation below...
The most common mistakes I see guys make are bad photos & thoughtless bios.
Most men don't realize their photos (in particular their first photo) are the often only things women consider when deciding to swipe left or right.
If you don't lead with a great photo, she's not reading the rest of your bio. She's swiping left.
So I push all of my clients to invest in hiring a pro photographer to help them capture the perfect picture.
Bios can be more nuanced. There are fewer black-and-white rules. But the #1 problem I see is thoughtlessness. Writing a bio to check the box, vs actually considering the woman you're speaking to & the message you want to send her.
My typical client is smart, thoughtful, caring, often shy, and ready for his dating life to catch up with the rest of his life!
I work with a lot of engineers in particular. Guys who've focused intensely on their profession to date, and appreciate my structured systems-style approach to tackling dating.
To help clients, I focus on both the "how" and the "why" of dating.
The "how" is tactical stuff, like how to make a great dating app profile that gets matches, how to respond to texts, and where to go on dates.
The "why" is the psychology that underlies male / female attraction. What she's looking for, why she behaves a certain way, and what she's really saying.
Both are important. Guys tend to be more drawn to the tactical stuff initially, but tend to value the psychology longer-term because it's more extensible.
Hot take: what specific dating app you use doesn't matter much. There are nuances between apps (Tinder is more casual than OKCupid for example), but as long as you're using a mainstream platform (Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, OK Cupid, Plenty of Fish, Upward... there are tons more):
- Your profile will be shown to a ton of potential partners (most women are on >1 dating app anyway!)
- Your profile is generally the same (combination of ~6 photos and ~50 words of written bio)
Framed another way, the quality of your profile matters 100x more than what app that profile is on. If I had to pick a favorite app though, I'd probably say Hinge. The interface is clean & the prompt concept is effective!
1. Invest in professional photos. They're not cheap, but they're 100x higher ROI than "super likes", "profile boosts", or other paid dating app features.
2. Iterate on your approach. If you're not getting a lot of matches, use a different photo as your first. If women aren't responding to your first message, say something different.
3. Keep it loose. More than anything else, she's looking for someone she can have fun with.
Need some help with your dating app profiles or maybe your approach to dating in general?
Blaine could be your gal. (And she's totally virtual so you can work with her no matter where you live!)
Check out her website datingbyblaine.com/.
Want to find out whether your dating photos are working against you? And if they are— what to do about it?
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads required · Instant Results
Scott reached out about hiring me for dating profile photography back in November. We got to know each other over the phone and then cooked up a plan for a dating photo session that incorporated some of Scott's favorite things (like coffee and off-roading and hanging with his giant pup Reuben).
Curious how Scott and I went from strangers to a dating photoshoot that captures his life and tells his story?
📸 Check out How a Photoshoot with Dating Photo Co works
We met up at The Bindlestick and explored front street in Snoqualmie to start. Then we headed over to Fall City for some small town vibes and a little Jeep action.
We lucked out and got a beautiful sunny winter day for Scott's dating photos. Reuben was stoked too--road tripping and multiple walks in new parks on the same day?! Livin' the good life!
I checked in with Scott after his dating photo shoot and this is what he had to say...
Andrea: Why did you decide to hire a professional dating photographer?
Scott: I got out of a relationship and had no good photos of just myself. I had a few selfies and a few I had friends take but nothing I was happy with. I tried to use them on a profile and had very poor luck. I decided that I needed help and started searching for photographers.
Andrea: What made you decide to hire me?
Scott: I looked through several websites, some aggregators that provided little detail about who I would be working with, and a few individuals but their websites were all cold business. When I read your about you page I laughed my ass off which immediately made me like you and had a human connection. I also liked that you have flat pricing and I get all of the photos, even the goofy ones.
Andrea: I love the goofy ones! Alright so you booked a dating photo session. How did you feel before the photoshoot--was there anything you were nervous or uncertain about?
Scott: Before the shoot I was nervous about picking the right clothes. We had some back and forth on clothing and accessories and I did a little shopping and settled on what I wanted to bring. I wasn't sure how the photo shoot itself would go, I feel like I don't take good photos, the classic "say cheese" style and I always feel awkward in those and get told to smile more, practice in a mirror.
Andrea: Oh man, just about everybody who hires for dating photos me tells me they feel awkward getting their picture taken. It runs deep! Ok so you pushed through the nerves and showed up on shoot day. How did it feel once we got starting shooting? What was the shoot itself like for you?
Scott: The photo shoot was like a conversation where someone happened to have a camera with them. We spent 4 hours going around the Snoqualmie / Fall City area talking while you snapped pictures. There were occasional pauses for changing positions and giving directions. I didn't feel nervous at all.
Andrea: YES! I love that. You didn't seem nervous at all. So how did feel when you saw your dating photo gallery the following week?
Scott: I didn't think they were me! I've never liked photos of myself in the past. These photos had real smiles and weren't robotic or awkward!
Andrea: Ok so this is the part everyone is always dying to know...What has happened since your dating photo shoot?
Scott: I created a profile on Bumble with the top 5 pictures from our photo shoot and one selfie.
I made this profile while sitting on my couch at 10am. By 4pm I had 12 conversations going and 40 more profiles / likes to go through.
I've gone on several dates and the stream of likes hasn't stopped. I had a similar experience with Hinge, using the same set of photos-- I have a constant stream of likes and new conversations going. It's been insane, I've had to start a notebook to track conversations. Compare this to my attempt before the photo shoot where I would get 2-3 likes a week between both apps.
Andrea: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of COURSE you're meeting hella babes on dating apps, you're a total catch!
Thanks for going out on a limb with me, Scott, and for giving us a glimpse into your dating photo experience. I'll keep an eye out for an invitation to your wedding in my mailbox next year 😉
. . .
Wanna be like Scott and start getting hella matches?
Occasionally when I’m talking to someone who is thinking about hiring me as their dating profile photographer they’ll say something along the lines of, “but...won’t professional dating photos make me look like I’m trying too hard?”
My in-a-nutshell and based-on-experience answer has gradually evolved to this:
But I wasn’t always so sure of this answer. In fact, when I first began as a dating profile photographer (shooting dating pics on the side for my professional headshot photography clients), I wondered about this myself:
What message does it send to people when a person has photos on their dating profiles that were clearly shot by a professional photographer? What do professional dating profile photos say about someone?
So I started asking people. More specifically, I asked women between the ages of 25-50 (the majority of my dating photography clients are straight men in this same age bracket).
Their answers were surprisingly consistent...
When you encounter a guy on a dating app who has clearly hired a pro photographer to shoot his dating profile photos, what does it tell you about him?
You get the gist.
My dating profile photography clients regularly report getting positive comments from matches, specifically about the quality of their photos:
As one friend put it, “If I can tell from the get-go that a guy isn’t putting any effort into his dating profile, I’m a hard ‘no’. Relationships take effort! They take self-awareness and a willingness to be vulnerable. If a guy has hired a professional photographer for his dating pics he clearly has both of those qualities and that says a lot. Plus, I put a lot of effort into looking attractive. It’s refreshing to see a guy who’s doing the same, ya know?”
I do know.
Matter of fact, when I step out of my dating photographer shoes and into the shoes of a single woman trying to meet a great guy on dating apps, I agree 100%.
Same goes for seeing a man who is well-dressed in his dating pics and has thoughtfully curated his dating app pics to give a multi-dimensional sense of his personality and his lifestyle.
All of these things show a woman--I care, and I'm trying.
So I no longer worry that having outstanding dating profile pics (the kind only a professional photographer can capture) could be a bad thing.
Plus, the results my clients report after updating their dating profiles with professional pictures *without changing anything else*--speak for themselves.
If you want help diagnosing why your dating profile isn't performing, start with a quick, free photo audit.
The Dating Photo Audit identifies what's wrong with your dating photos and shows you what to fix first.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
If you want expert, human feedback on your actual photos, the Gut Check is a short, honest video review ($75 · 3-day turnaround).
Whether you’ve booked a professional dating photographer or are gearing up for a DIY dating profile photo upgrade — figuring out what to wear is important, and can definitely be a source of stress. This post is about getting a top-view on the task at hand, and breaking it down into actionable steps.
Because your dating photography wardrobe is not just about raw appearances.
Sure, you want your dating photography outfits to look good, but, when done right, your clothes communicate important values, values like:
On the flip side, if you get it wrong, the clothes you wear in your online dating photos can work against you by making you look like you don't care, aren't making an effort, lack awareness (self-awareness and situational-awareness), are slovenly, etc..
Below are 8 tips to help guide you as gather clothes to wear for your dating profile photos so you can show off your authentic self and catch the eyes of your dream sweeties.
Not sure whether wardrobe is your real issue — or if something else is holding your photos back? Start with the free Dating Photo Audit.
Free · 3–4 minutes · No uploads · Instant results
Sometimes dating photography clients tell me “I heard you’re supposed to wear a suit in one of your dating photos” – to which I always ask: “do you ever wear a suit in your real life?”. If the answer is no, then I don’t recommend wearing a suit in your online dating profile photos.
With this in mind, there are no “should's” as far as what to wear, but there is for sure one “shouldn’t” – don’t wear anything you wouldn’t actually wear! You simply don’t need to and it may actually work against you by giving a misleading sense of what you’re like and how you dress.
Wearing clothes in your dating photos (and in your life) that fit properly just straight-up looks good. But it also shows potential matches that you have solid self-awareness and good judgment.
Plus, wearing clothes that fit and flatter your body are also a sign that you’re making an effort to look attractive. And making an effort (especially if you’re a man on dating apps) goes a LONG way.
If you are unsure when you look in the mirror whether a particular item of clothing fits properly, assume that it doesn’t and scrap it or (if you love it) consider visiting a tailor to ask about having it altered. *If it’s too small or too tight, definitely scrap it.
There are also lots of online resources for how to tell if clothes fit. Like this one: How an untucked button-down shirt should fit
A recent dating photography client of mine lamented that she always ends up matching with men who want her to be dolled up to the max 100% of the time (full face of make-up, hair done, nails done, dresses and skirts, etc.). She told me, “honestly most of the time I’m at home hanging out with my cat in leggings and a messy bun. I want a guy who is cool with that also”.
When I took a look through the dating photos she had been using on her Hinge profile, guess what? In ALL of them she was dolled up to the max! Men who want a high-maintenance, glamor girl saw her profile and thought “I’ve found her!”. Except…she wasn’t that girl; that was just one dimension of her. Yes, she likes getting dolled up, but not all the time. She also had a really relaxed casual side that was completely absent from her dating profile.
When we infused her Hinge profile with some dating pics of her relaxing at home, she started attracting men who were a better fit for her, and who loved the fact that she could glam out and also be chill and down-to-earth.
All this to say – SHOW SOME RANGE!
If you want honest, expert eyes on your actual photos — not just general advice — the Gut Check is a short video review where I tell you exactly what’s working and what’s not.
Whether you’re using short-form swipe-style dating apps like Hinge or Bumble, or longer-form ones like OkCupid or Match.com, every single photo is an opportunity to fill in a little more of that story.
And since there’s only so much visual information that can be captured in a still photo, it’s important to make the most of every photo.
*As a professional dating photographer it does sometimes happen that I end up with two real show-stopper shots of someone in the same outfit. Like they’re both too good (and different enough from each other) to choose only one. When this happens, here’s a handy trick:
💡 Pro Tip:
If you want to use two photos in the same outfit on your dating profile, make one of the photos black and white and don’t put them side-by-side.Read this post for more tips about black and white dating photos.
Your online dating photos should show you in a variety of environments, and include photos of you doing activities you enjoy. It’s important that what you’re wearing makes sense with each environment, and for each activity.
It will also make your dating photos feel authentic and organic, rather than staged and just for appearances.
A good rule of thumb for your business headshot photo is to dress as if you were interviewing for your ideal role.
There’s a semi-parallel rule for online dating photos:
Another way I like to say this is: wear something that says… “I clean up well”. Something you might wear to a fancy restaurant. Something you look and feel really good in.
I have an entire blog post about why dress up for dating photos but here’s the gist:
Make it easy for a cutie who is eyeing your dating profile photos to not hope but *know*, “this guy would be a great date to my bestie’s summer wedding”.
*If you’re suuuuper casual in your daily life, this may be as simple as including one button-down shirt with a collar in your dating photo shoot. Or if you have a more robust wardrobe and enjoy dressing well, you might go with a full-blown suit, or something in between like jeans with a blazer.
People wear a lot of black, gray and neutrals, especially here in the PNW (don’t ask me why when the climate much of the year is dark/gray).
Now, I’m not saying you should wear some hideous shade of neon (though that would for sure catch eyes), but I do recommend that you wear a shirt or dress in a bold color for at least one of your online dating profile photos.
Don’t own any clothes in juicy colors that you know you look good in? Now, before upgrading your online dating photos, might a great time to buy something new! And if you’re really unsure which colors look good on you, you could consult a personal stylist (like my favorite personal stylist, Tannya!).
Last but not least, if you sometimes like to wear playful/shouty/bold things and/or clothes that might raise some eyebrows, consider including at least one of those items or outfits in your dating profile photos.
Maybe you bust out that sequined jacket you love wearing to parties or your favorite pair of cowboy boots, or a silly T-shirt. Maybe you finally give yourself permission to buy that outrageous fringe dress you’ve been eyeing at Gold Dogs.
I’m not suggesting you dress up in anything that feels like a costume for your dating profile photos. But I am proposing that, if you sometimes like to look a little (or a lot) funky and fabulous—GO FOR IT!
Upside is that you’ve got a conversation-starter built right into your dating profile (omg dude, that SHIRT!). You’ll show potential matches that you’re fun and not a “play it safe” person.
Worst case is that someone sees the shirt and thinks “ugh, I would never go out with a guy who would wear something like that”. If that’s the case, wouldn’t you like to filter this person out now rather than waste time getting to know them only to find out later that they can’t deal with a funky item of clothing? (if you’re dating to meet your forever person, the correct answer here is “yes”, filter filter FILTER)
Dating profile photos are about showing off who you really are so you catch the eyes of people who love those qualities in a person.
. . .
Alright friends, that’s a wrap!
Whether you’ve invested in hiring a professional dating profile photographer or are investing time trying to upgrade your dating photos yourself it’s worth choosing a set of clothes that will represent you well to the kinds of people you want to match with.
If you’re not sure what’s holding you back on apps like Hinge and Bumble...
👉🏻 Get a Free Dating Photo Audit — It quickly identifies your primary photo failure mode and how to fix it.
If you want direct, personalized feedback...
👀 Get a Gut Check — a short, honest video review of your actual photos ($75).
And if you’re in Seattle and want your dating photos handled for you (professional wardrobe styling included)...