Occasionally when I’m talking to someone who is thinking about hiring me as their dating profile photographer they’ll say something along the lines of, “but…won’t professional dating photos make me look like I’m trying too hard?”
My in-a-nutshell and based-on-experience answer has gradually evolved to this:
But I wasn’t always so sure of this answer. In fact, when I first began as a dating profile photographer (shooting dating pics on the side for my professional headshot photography clients), I wondered about this myself:
What message does it send to people when a person has photos on their dating profiles that were clearly shot by a professional photographer? What do professional dating profile photos say about someone?
So I started asking people. More specifically, I asked women between the ages of 25-50 (the majority of my dating photography clients are straight men in this same age bracket).
Their answers were surprisingly consistent…
When you encounter a guy on a dating app who has clearly hired a pro photographer to shoot his dating profile photos, what does it tell you about him?
You get the gist.
As one friend put it, “If I can tell from the get-go that a guy isn’t putting any effort into his dating profile, I’m a hard ‘no’. Relationships take effort! They take self-awareness and a willingness to be vulnerable. If a guy has hired a professional photographer for his dating pics he clearly has both of those qualities and that says a lot. Plus, I put a lot of effort into looking attractive. It’s refreshing to see a guy who’s doing the same, ya know?”
I do know.
Matter of fact, when I step out of my dating photographer shoes and into the shoes of a single woman trying to meet a great guy on dating apps, I agree 100%.
Same goes for seeing a man who is well-dressed in his dating pics and has thoughtfully curated his dating app pics to give a multi-dimensional sense of his personality and his lifestyle.
All of these things show a woman–I care, and I’m trying.
So I no longer worry that having outstanding dating profile pics (the kind only a professional photographer can capture) could be a bad thing.
Plus, the results my clients report after updating their dating profiles with professional pictures *without changing anything else*–speak for themselves.
If you’re like, “hell yeah girl, I wanna be one of those guys who women can tell is making an effort” HIT ME UP! Let’s make it happen.
I help people find love on dating apps like Hinge and Bumble. My superpower as a professional dating profile photographer is less about photography skills and more about my way with people. I make regular folks look confident, warm, totally genuine, and effortlessly magnetic in their online dating photos by making them *feel* confident, warm, and magnetic in real life.
Choosing photos for your online dating profile can feel kind of overwhelming. Your dating profile is basically marketing for your love life and marketing is not easy, especially when the product is…yourself.
The good news is there are 4 shots pretty much everybody should include in their online dating profile photos.
These dating photos have been tested and proven to be effective for both men and women on quick-swipe apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge, more in-depth apps like match.com and everything in between.
Alright here it is:
A close-up portrait of you rocking a full-on authentic smile doesn’t just need to be one of your dating profile photos.
It needs to be the FIRST photo in your dating profile.
The ideal dating profile headshot has your head and upper torso filling most of the frame and shows you smiling and looking straight at the camera. This type of dating profile photo gives people a really good look at your face, and especially your eyes so they have a solid sense of what you look like.
Now, the smiling part. A smile is a universal expression of warmth and approachability so it works like magic as the first pic in your dating profile.
But not just any smile will do. Your smile in the first photo on your online dating profile needs to feel REAL. So you actually have to get a picture that was taken when you were really smiling, not just a half-assed “say cheese” smiling where your mouth is shaped like a smile but your eyes are not in on the action.
There is one easy hack to get a dating photo with an authentic smile–have someone take your picture when you’re *actually smiling*, lol! Not smiling for the camera, just actually real-life smiling when the picture is taken (pssst–this is one of my superpowers as a dating profile photographer)
Alright there can be some variations on this one (like sitting or standing) but your dating profile photos definitely need to include a shot that shows your whole head-to-toe body.
Most of us have had the experience of meeting someone in person after seeing their photo online and feeling…surprised.
Including a full body photo on your dating profile is a way of giving potential dates an honest glimpse of you so they aren’t left wondering how you’re shaped or unsure what to expect.
Full body photos can be tricky to shoot yourself (definitely do not attempt this as a selfie–distortion from camera angle can make legs look hella stumpy) so it’s best to get someone else to shoot this one for you.
The lifestyle dating photo is a chance to show off more of what you’re like and the types of things you’re into–how you enjoy spending time, where you like to hang out, hobbies, etc..
Dating photos that show you in places you love, doing things you love help paint a picture for potential matches about what it might be like to date you. Lifestyle dating pics show off who you are to your ideal matches and help filter out folks who wouldn’t be a good fit for you.
So, if you like to spend every weekend camping and hiking in the woods, showing you hiking in one of your dating profile photos will be attractive to people who also like those things and will help turn away folks who never like to get dirty, ya know?
Anything can work here, from a photo of you sipping coffee at your favorite local cafe, browsing through old vinyl at a record store, off-roading like Scott, playing your guitar, cooking, shopping, etc..
This one is a little less typical than the others but no less effective. Including a laughing pic as one of your online dating photos is almost guaranteed to elicit smiles and warm feelings from potential matches (thank you, mirror neurons!).
A laughing photo shows potential matches that you’re FUN.
Mid-laugh is also a really guard-down moment so it can be really leavening in a dating profile, particularly if some of your other shots feel more moody, serious or posed.
When you’re choosing photos for your dating profile, if you can’t rustle up at least the first three of these 4 types of shots, you’re gonna need to get some new photos.
But at least now you have something to aim for! Stay focused and if you need help, hire a dating profile photographer (pick me pick me!).
Book Your Dating Photo Session
I help people find love on dating apps like Hinge and Bumble. My superpower as a professional dating profile photographer is less about photography skills and more about my way with people. I make regular folks look confident, warm, totally genuine, and effortlessly magnetic in their online dating photos by making them *feel* confident, warm, and magnetic in real life.
Whether you’ve booked a professional dating photographer (YAY!) or are gearing up for a DIY dating profile photo upgrade (get it!), figuring out what to wear is important, and can definitely be a source of stress. This post is about getting a top-view on the task at hand, and breaking it down into actionable steps.
Because your dating photography wardrobe is not just about raw appearances.
Sure, you want your dating photography outfits to look good, but, when done right, your clothes communicate important values, values like:
On the flip side, if you get it wrong, the clothes you wear in your online dating photos can work against you by making you look like you don’t care, aren’t making an effort, lack awareness (self-awareness and situational-awareness), are slovenly, etc..
Below are 8 tips to help guide you as gather clothes to wear for your dating profile photos so you can show off your authentic self and catch the eyes of your dream sweeties.
Sometimes dating photography clients tell me “I heard you’re supposed to wear a suit in one of your dating photos” – to which I always ask: “do you ever wear a suit in your real life?”. If the answer is no, then I don’t recommend wearing a suit in your online dating profile photos.
With this in mind, there are no “should’s” as far as what to wear, but there is for sure one “shouldn’t” – don’t wear anything you wouldn’t actually wear! You simply don’t need to and it may actually work against you by giving a misleading sense of what you’re like and how you dress.
Wearing clothes in your dating photos (and in your life) that fit properly just straight-up looks good. But it also shows potential matches that you have solid self-awareness and good judgment.
Plus, wearing clothes that fit and flatter your body are also a sign that you’re making an effort to look attractive. And making an effort (especially if you’re a man on dating apps) goes a LONG way.
If you are unsure when you look in the mirror whether a particular item of clothing fits properly, assume that it doesn’t and scrap it or (if you love it) consider visiting a tailor to ask about having it altered. *If it’s too small or too tight, definitely scrap it.
There are also tons of online resources for how to tell if clothes fit. Like this one:
How an untucked button-down shirt should fit
A recent dating photography client of mine lamented that she always ends up matching with men who want her to be dolled up to the max 100% of the time (full face of make-up, hair done, nails done, dresses and skirts, etc.). She told me, “honestly most of the time I’m at home hanging out with my cat in leggings and a messy bun. I want a guy who is cool with that also”.
When I took a look through the dating photos she had been using on her Hinge profile, guess what? In ALL of them she was dolled up to the max! Men who want a high-maintenance, glamor girl saw her profile and thought “I’ve found her!”. Except…she wasn’t that girl; that was just one dimension of her. Yes, she likes getting dolled up, but not all the time. She also had a really relaxed casual side that was completely absent from her dating profile.
When we infused her Hinge profile with some dating pics of her relaxing at home, she started attracting men who were a better fit for her, and who loved the fact that she could glam out and also be chill and down-to-earth.
All this to say – SHOW SOME RANGE!
Whether you’re using short-form swipe-style dating apps like Hinge or Bumble, or longer-form ones like OkCupid or Match.com, every single photo is an opportunity to fill in a little more of that story.
And since there’s only so much visual information that can be captured in a still photo, it’s important to make the most of every photo.
*As a professional dating photographer it does sometimes happen that I end up with two real show-stopper shots of someone in the same outfit. Like they’re both too good (and different enough from each other) to choose only one. When this happens, here’s a handy trick:
TIP: If you want to use two photos in the same outfit on your dating profile, make one of the photos black and white and don’t put them side-by-side.
Your online dating photos should show you in a variety of environments, and include photos of you doing activities you enjoy. It’s important that what you’re wearing makes sense with each environment, and for each activity.
It will also make your dating photos feel authentic and organic, rather than staged and just for appearances.
A good rule of thumb for your business headshot photo is to dress as if you were interviewing for your ideal role.
There’s a semi-parallel rule for online dating photos:
Another way I like to say this is: wear something that says… “I clean up well”. Something you might wear to a fancy restaurant. Something you look and feel really good in.
I have an entire blog post about why dress up for dating photos but here’s the gist:
Make it easy for a cutie who is eyeing your dating profile photos to not hope but *know*, “this guy would be a great date to my bestie’s summer wedding”.
*If you’re suuuuper casual in your daily life, this may be as simple as including one button-down shirt with a collar in your dating photo shoot. Or if you have a more robust wardrobe and enjoy dressing well, you might go with a full-blown suit, or something in between like jeans with a blazer.
People wear a lot of black, gray and neutrals, especially here in the PNW (don’t ask me why when the climate much of the year is dark/gray).
Now, I’m not saying you should wear some hideous shade of neon (though that would for sure catch eyes), but I do recommend that you wear a shirt or dress in a bold color for at least one of your online dating profile photos.
Don’t own any clothes in juicy colors that you know you look good in? Now, before upgrading your online dating photos, might a great time to buy something new! And if you’re really unsure which colors look good on you, you could consult a personal stylist (like my favorite personal stylist, Tannya!).
Last but not least, if you sometimes like to wear playful/shouty/bold things and/or clothes that might raise some eyebrows, consider including at least one of those items or outfits in your dating profile photos.
Maybe you bust out that sequined jacket you love wearing to parties or your favorite pair of cowboy boots, or a silly T-shirt. Maybe you finally give yourself permission to buy that outrageous fringe dress you’ve been eyeing at Gold Dogs.
Upside is that you’ve got a conversation-starter built right into your dating profile (omg dude, that SHIRT!). You’ll show potential matches that you’re fun and not a “play it safe” person.
Worst case is that someone sees the shirt and thinks “ugh, I would never go out with a guy who would wear something like that”. If that’s the case, wouldn’t you like to filter this person out now rather than waste time getting to know them only to find out later that they can’t deal with a funky item of clothing? (if you’re dating to meet your forever person, the correct answer here is “yes”, filter filter FILTER)
Dating profile photos are about showing off who you really are so you catch the eyes of people who love those qualities in a person.
. . .
Alright friends, that’s a wrap!
Whether you’ve invested in hiring a professional dating profile photographer or are investing time trying to upgrade your dating photos yourself it’s worth choosing a set of clothes that will represent you well to the kinds of people you want to match with.
If you feel bogged down, I get it! It’s a lot to juggle. That’s why, if you hire me as your professional dating photographer, you don’t have to worry about any of this!
It won’t hurt you to understand the what’s and why’s of the ideal online dating profile photo wardrobe but I’ve got you covered with step-by-step wardrobe planning (in fact, the Whole-9 dating photography package includes a one-on-one virtual style session with a professional personal stylist!).
Phew, take this off my plate! Be my Seattle dating photographer!
I help people find love on dating apps like Hinge and Bumble. My superpower as a professional dating profile photographer is less about photography skills and more about my way with people. I make regular folks look confident, warm, totally genuine, and effortlessly magnetic in their online dating photos by making them *feel* confident, warm, and magnetic in real life.